Would you tell your band that you’re looking for a better gig?

DrumDoug

DrumDoug

Senior Member
I’m not getting any younger. While I enjoy playing small gigs and dive bars, I would like the chance to play bigger and better gigs. I don’t feel like my current band is interested in putting in the effort to move up. I’m not sure how to go about finding a better gig, and I don’t know if I should tell my current band mates I’m looking. One of the hardest parts of being in a band is aligning everyone’s goals. I feel like the current band just wants to play local gigs and hang out and drink while their friends tell them how good they are. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy that too, but I feel stuck. I’m constantly trying to improve my playing but I don’t feel like my drumming “career” is progressing. I get calls to play with lots of people, but it’s just the same old dive bars I’ve been playing for years. Maybe I should just be happy I get to gig all the time. I know lots of drummers would love to have all my gigs even if they are mostly low paying dive bars. Better gigs don’t just fall in your lap. I don’t know how to go about moving up the gig ladder.
 
Without hesitation. Knowing full well that some people will be essentially unfazed, others will probably wish you the best and ask you to stay in touch, and others will ABSOLUTELY take it personally and consider your departure a form of abandonment and betrayal. But ultimately, if you aren't under contract, and have no impending gigs booked, move on to bigger and better things SOONER rather than LATER!🚀
 
It depends on how good friends I am with the band. If it's like my best friends, I would be honest. If they are more like colleagues I guess I wouldn't tell them right away, maybe only when I got another gig.

But you can still look for other gigs and play with the old gang, no need to be homeless so to say.
 
Are you under contract? No? You do you.
 
If you are OK with some down time while you find another project, I suggest leaving. If there is a gap in bookings coming up, use that as your window. Give the band notice and, if you know any that will be interested, suggest other drummers for auditions.

As far as your reasons for leaving... just keep it simple. Wanting a change, blah, blah. They may take the reason expressed here as a slight. Not great if you want to remain friends.

Re moving up the band ladder.

Are there bands in your area playing gigs you would like to play? Do you know of the musicians, or drummers? If you do, and really feel up to the task, reach out and offer to sub.

That's how I landed a very stable and long term gig with a function band. Well that is what lead to it. It's a little more convoluted.
 
The thing you can’t expect from your bandmates is their own version of you, it’s a tough one to sometimes expect people to want to improve or meet standards that you set yourself.

Sometimes bandmates just don’t feel the same way or want to ‘level up’ and that’s ok. Some people just want to do it for the hang without any added pressure or extra work.

If that personally bothers you (and I can relate to such frustrations) then you’ve outgrown that band and that situation and it’s time to find something more fulfilling, where it doesn’t feel it’s probably a waste of your time.

My advice on the approach, find another band and give your current one your notice so they have time to find someone else. Keep it on good terms.

There’s nothing wrong with moving on when you outgrow a musical situation.

It’s only music.
 
mikyok said:
Get the gig then be honest
Click to expand...
This, 100%. Find a gig that makes you happy and fulfills your needs, then tell your current band.

Telling them ahead of time makes no sense to me at all. It will just piss them off and maybe turn them against you.
 
mikyok said:
Get the gig then be honest
Click to expand...

Agreed. No need to tip anyone off and possibly get yourself replaced before you're ready to go.

And it's definitely smart to try and move forward with your playing. Our job in life is to grow. Sometimes you can grow with the same people around you, and sometimes you need to move on. Career, relationships, just about everything.

As for how to move upward, there is no tried & true guaranteed method, but you need to reach out. Don't expect something to just fall into your lap. Networking with the right people is a good start. Get your name and skills out there. In this business, it's not who you know... it's who knows you.

If you're a good player and especially a good guy, you can go far. Remember, nice guys finish first.
 
But don't leave your current band in the lurch.
If you are in a small market there is a chance the word will get back to your current band that you are looking to leave them for another.
I would at least express some frustration (in a friendly, polite way) with your current band that things aren't going up a gear.
 
I encourage you to have a general chat with your bandmates about goals. You might be surprised to hear them say they too would like higher paying, more prestigious gigs. We have started playing local country clubs' holiday parties. A calmer vibe but higher pay and better hours. One of these led to our first wedding gig! And country club members often work at companies or associations that have more traditional corporate gigs.
 
SchmuckyPutz said:
and have no impending gigs booked, move on to bigger and better things SOONER rather than LATER!🚀
Click to expand...
The issue with this is the band you're stuck in might always have something new booked. In which case, you'll have to depart when there's a gap in your schedule. If there isn't one, then they'll have to cancel shows (unless there's a hired gun) readily available to fill in.
If they have to cancel shows, then you're the "bad guy" who some will lambast your name to other bands, while leaving out what they did to cause you to leave.

So just be aware of your opportunity to exit & take it when the window opens.
 
Cmdr. Ross said:
The issue with this is the band you're stuck in might always have something new booked. In which case, you'll have to depart when there's a gap in your schedule. If there isn't one, then they'll have to cancel shows (unless there's a hired gun) readily available to fill in.
If they have to cancel shows, then you're the "bad guy" who some will lambast your name to other bands, while leaving out what they did to cause you to leave.

So just be aware of your opportunity to exit & take it when the window opens.
Click to expand...
I did mention impending gigs BOOKED. I've been in similar situations before. Full disclosure, meeting all obligations,
and complete due diligence are all necessary. I've always done my utmost to move on gracefully, respectfully and on the best possible terms
 
DrumDoug said:
I feel stuck. I’m constantly trying to improve my playing but I don’t feel like my drumming “career” is progressing.
Click to expand...
I have felt this way for sure in one of my bands. Good friends but stuck in the quagmire of same old and I was eager for more challenge. How I dealt with this was to join a second/better project that kept me interested, progressing and on my toes. That better band gets my booking priority and main attention. At some point, if two bands ever become too much, I'll move on from the old one.

I put plenty of effort in getting the old band to step up get better, etc. And to be fair, they have gotten better. But it's like dragging an anchor and exhuasted me.

I don't think you need to tell them until you have an opportunity you want to move on to or join.
 
How often is your current band gigging? If you're only gigging once a month or so, you can look at other projects while still fulfilling obligations in your current one. Sometimes, I didn't realize how much one of my bands was NOT a good fit for me until I had another band to compare it with.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top