is there a rule on Flam if its rl or lr

Yeah, like Al said, there are no real rules, unless the sticking is written out. If it is a written exercise or ensemble piece, you'd want to be able to play it as written. On the drum kit, being able to play flams either way gives you greater fluidity and voicing flexibility.
both are valid- usage of one or the other is decided on - upon notation-sticking, execution, hands- prior- is how I think I remember something about- it +/-
in other words relative to what came before it..and what comes after..
if the flam is the second note in a paradiddle for ex.ample,
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....I think.......practice will need both on your sticking patterns....cause they be complex and you gots to come out with the proper hand for the next part......could be left or ready.
Both. There is no rule.

I mostly play flams in an alternative way lR rL rather than lR lR or rL rL
Nice to know All ways.
If you're playing a written snare drum solo it will be whatever makes sense in context. Following a rudimental sticking in a rudimental solo, or whatever makes sense in a concert snare drum solo-- often alternating, sometimes not.

If it's in a band or orchestra piece, or concert snare drum solo, it will be whatever's easiest for you to execute precisely.

If it's on drum set it's whatever you want. I favor left handed flams (rL) on the drum set.
No rules for flams but I completely agree with @toddbishop

Inherently your dominant hand phrasing will dictate your sticking pattern.

Understanding the rudimentary pattern(s) with both “dominant” and “weak” scales brings you up to speed, starting slow and moving uptempo.

I like to practice alternate flams, trying to see how fast I can get them while trying to get the most touch or (pp) on the lead - it’s one of my favorite exercises.