I'm an idiot and feel bad

No Way Jose

Silver Member
You have to try things out, give opportunities a chance. If they don't work out then you move on. You did the right thing.
 

PorkPieGuy

Platinum Member
No, you should not feel bad, but I understand that why you do!

Back when I was playing acoustic guitar a lot, I went to an open mic of the local acoustic society in December. I left my guitar in the car just in case it was something I didn't want to participate in. Because I live in bluegrass country, I had my hopes up that there would be some real pickers there. It was amateur hour at best. I decided to leave and not look back when I heard "Christmas in Dixie" for the third time.

My wife plays bass, and she and I teamed up with a guy who was supposed to be leading worship for some sort of youth/teen function and wanted a band. After we set up my drums and we set up her bass rig, we sat there and watched him squint at chord sheets for about two hours. My wife cried on the way home it was so bad. I called my connection with the guy and told him we were out and how terrible it was.

Stuff like this happens.
 

1 hit wonder

Well-known Member
If you have to bring your stuff to play with people of unknown ability, only take the minimum gear and be upfront. "Hey, you guys are probably all better than me but sometimes I show up and people can barely play and that's just too much work getting them up to speed."

I've only spent time in 1 band that had like talent levels that could play any song desired, or where everybody showed up and had practiced their parts properly.
 

Cmdr. Ross

Silver Member
No, you should not feel bad. Sometimes bands do not work out for various reasons. Stuff happens. You probably did not waste their time.
This.
Sometime the mojo just ain't there. No right or wrong about it. You handled it very well & I'm sure all parties are happy.
 

GetAgrippa

Diamond Member
This thread title sounds like a Beatles song.
Sung to I Feel Fine.

Baby's it's not good for me
I'm not as happy as I can be
I said so
I'm an idiot and I feel bad.
 

Dr_Watso

Platinum Member
Another way to look at it is that both sides learned something and gained a little bit of brain-add in the form of taking a step back for you; because playing with musicians at a lower stage of learning will also force you to change your style a bit and defer to them in a few ways which is a good skill to recall from time to time. And for them, they got some experience playing with good time and taste, hopefully getting some insight in the process even if it's not directly applicable right now.
 

Captain Bash

Silver Member
There is nothing worse than playing a genre of music like blues and having band mate(s] attempt to find their way into the style. Specifically, the illusion of effortless delivery and emotional nuance is rapidly destroyed by these learner drivers. Typically they are always the ones who don’t want to listen to any recordings of the show or put in dedicated practice on their own time or believe they can behave like Kieth Richards circa 1970s.

Always best to leave if the band are below the standard you enjoy, it won’t miraculously get better (unless you have decade to spare).
 

eamesuser

Silver Member
Big difference between a rock band that thinks starting a blues band is just grinding out enough 12 bar progressions and a band that respects and understands what it takes to put together a show that will entertain and keep a crowd around all evening. A good blues show can be an exciting dynamic experience for sure and that is a hill I will die on.
There is play book to playing the blues well,I started a blues band with good players that loved and respected the form and we sounded terrible for 15 rehearsals before making any progress but ended up being pretty good.
Sometimes you just get the feeling a project is never or will take way to long to come together, in this case you trust your gut and exit gracefully like Bo did,probably best thing for everyone in the long run
 

Bo Eder

Platinum Member
Big difference between a rock band that thinks starting a blues band is just grinding out enough 12 bar progressions and a band that respects and understands what it takes to put together a show that will entertain and keep a crowd around all evening. A good blues show can be an exciting dynamic experience for sure and that is a hill I will die on.
There is play book to playing the blues well,I started a blues band with good players that loved and respected the form and we sounded terrible for 15 rehearsals before making any progress but ended up being pretty good.
Sometimes you just get the feeling a project is never or will take way to long to come together, in this case you trust your gut and exit gracefully like Bo did,probably best thing for everyone in the long run
I suppose I just hate to leave a bad taste in anybody's mouth, ya know? I'm sure with a couple of free gigs pending and a December paying gig at a local nudist colony, having the drummer and 50% singer up and quit six weeks out is not anything anybody would want to deal with. So I get that. But I just felt like this was the time to put my foot down, especially when other opportunities with real players come up (five gigs booked already), and the Devo band's last few gigs of 2022 coming up, it's hard to make the time happen for the blues guys. If they didn't find another drummer so quickly I suppose I'd feel worse, but I don't have to ;)
 

Johnny2u2

Active Member
I really thought I could be patient and work with this new band that wanted to play the blues. But in the end, I had to leave. I just didn't have the time to play with people learning how to play the blues. In my current world, the blues is what the band would play at the end when they ran out of stuff to play and it gave everybody a chance to stretch out and solo (like a time filler). I appreciate real blues, but I just could not stay in a "student" blues situation. I really thought I could, but just ran out of patience.

They did find another guy more at their level and they're happy. I just don't know if I should feel bad for wasting their time, or wasting mine. Does that sound mean?
As a drummer I would NEVER play in a band doing the blues. Vocals? Maybe. Bass guitar? Maybe. I have different playlists for different instruments and you’re not alone there. All band time is good time. Rock on anyway
 

A J

Well-known Member
I held an officer position in a charitable organization that everyone has heard of. It was unpaid; all volunteer work and held the position for about 2 years.

I quit when I found out it was diverting money to friends and family. When I raised a fuss and reported them to the next heigher headquarters, they destroyed documents and claimed ignorance.

I don't feel bad at all.

As far as leaving bands... I'll only stay with a band as long as it's mostly enjoyable. When it ceases to be fun and I have exhausted all ways to make it fun.... I quit.
 

Drumbob

Member
With the preface that I'm not implying I am some super fantastic drummer or musician in general: I left a band after a couple years because my skill level was much further ahead of the other musicians. Really nice dudes and we did some fun weird stuff but at the end of the day I can't sit down and play a basic 4/4 for an hour while two dudes are trying to figure out scales and are not yet to a level of understanding that they were not even in tune. Everyone starts somewhere, I'm not knocking beginners. But I am at a point in my personal journey with music that I need to share the stage with somewhat competent players.
This totally. Once you have reached a certain level of proficiency, you don’t want to play with people not of the same proficiency.
 

roncadillac

Member
Your profile photo belies that statement. That right there, my friend, is unambiguously a super fantastic drummer (albeit an apparently modest one).
Haha thank you, I appreciate it. That gig was at Smith's in ATL. Super cool venue and great staff, drove 9 hours to play one set then turn around and come right home.
 

GretschedHive

Gold Member
Haha thank you, I appreciate it. That gig was at Smith's in ATL. Super cool venue and great staff, drove 9 hours to play one set then turn around and come right home.
Rock And Roll GIF
 

Woolwich

Silver Member
The last time I avoided this was by saying in the Direct Messages to the guitarist of a band that was forming that I didn't do battles of band, showcases or charity gigs. I did put it more politely than that and emphasised what I would do which was turn up knowing the material, be an enthusiastic team player, use my contacts to book gigs etc. He replied that he didn't think I was the type of person they were looking for. Many years later I'm still in the band I joined a month or so later, I don't think they ever gigged.
 
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