Ours is a small-venue, bar or club situation... The band leader gets the money and spilts it accordingly. We know approximately how much we're gonna get for most gigs, its usually pretty similar. Occasionally, on longer trips, gas money for the truck needs to be deducted, rightly so. Not so much for more local shows.
Often times, any tips we get go to satisfy that gas fund, before any of us see any of it, and thats perfectly fine. The leader provides the truck and trailer, and doesn't expect more than occasional gas money, so that's more than a welcome deduction. We are gonna chip in a little, as a group, for some small repairs that the trailer needs.
As for food and drinks, sometimes food is provided. Some venues offer free drinks. Pretty much all of them provide free soft drinks. We are all on our own when any of the above isn't provided, including tipping. I wouldn't expect the others to pay for stuff I consumed, some of the others don't eat or drink at gigs.
Of course, we're all good friends. None of us would want this kind of stuff to damage the group, or our friendships. In the OPs situation, I think things need to be laid out a lot more clearly regarding how the money is handled.
I'm glad that I dont have that crap to worry about.