Drums and the Significant Other

MrInsanePolack

Platinum Member
Does your SO support your drumming or no?

I feel very lucky, my wife not only supports it but encourages it. She has also purchased gear for me as gifts. I can play whenever I want provided theres no reason not to.

I hear horror stories about sneaking gear into the house, hiding credit card bills, ultimatums of me or the drums.

Y'all have supportive SOs? I hope so.
 

Ransan

Senior Member
Yes! My wife has been with me for more than half our lives, we are 37-ish, since we got together I was a drummer and it appealed to her, she gets it, and I have been blessed for sure.
When I turned 18 back in ‘01, (we both worked at the local grocery store) she went in half to get my Gibraltar rack for my export series, I knew she was the one. (This pic was taken around ‘01- yes the 14” hanging tom is racked over the bass lol)
753609B2-C8B9-49BB-BB88-F2C1E7B8B114.jpeg

There was a period from around ‘06-‘17 that we lived apartment life I sold my Roland and had no choice but to store my acoustic drums. There was a stand-alone unit or two where I took my drums out once in a while.

We both went to college and now have a mortgage, our lives have settled a bit; and, our daughter is now a senior who is smart as a foot long switch, so I’ve definitely been able to have drums and wife and life live harmoniously lol.

Her support is still unwavering, by the looks she is ok enough to let me have a dedicated cave in our abode pretty much accessible anytime. There’s days where am stressed and she will tell me to play it out or if I don’t feel like playing she will ask me what’s wrong as if it’s a tell for her.

But then again I’ve never set out in life to be a working drummer, I am too shy at this point and yes after all these years, but I’ll sure as hell play drums for her along the way.

*I will also add that right out of high school I worked for a music store in Amarillo for around 3-4 years.
I soon became head of the percussion department as well as the band and orchestra department, so in a sense, it has supported us as well.
 
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GruntersDad

Honorary Lifetime CEO
Staff member
I live in a house alone. No one here to bother or support. My neighbors know I play but no one has complained in over 10 years. I am lucky in this regard. I have tried to hide my credit card bills in their mailboxes, but they always bring them back unpaid.
 

Poleaux

Member
LOL @ GruntersDad!



My girlfriend doesn’t mind, because watching me play gets her “HOT“ ~grin~



I guess the trick is to find a partner who enjoys watching a drummer. And from what I’ve experienced over the past years, is that there are plenty of them.
 

GetAgrippa

Diamond Member
After a long hiatus my wife and kids surprised me some 25 years ago with a new Pearl forum kit, then a high end SONOR snare later on. She has always been very supportive except if I tap or wiggle table or car to much when I’m thoughtlessly tapping or feet in action. So that one caveat.
 

lefty2

Platinum Member
I made the mistake of telling her she did not support my drumming. Boy did I get an earful about how while I was out running around having fun playing my drums she was raising my kids lol she gave Me A New Perspective how she did support what I do. That was like 35 years ago or more. Nowadays I just ask is that she come to see the band I'm in at least once per band
 
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specgrade

Senior Member
My ex wife didn't want me to play but just loved to tell people that I played drums. She used to say how good I was but now tells our kids that I suck, lol. My new wife loves that I play and encourages me to play and loves drummers in general. She's the best when I am at my worst. So, yep she supports me.
 

C.M. Jones

Diamond Member
"Does your SO support your drumming or no?"

Thoroughly and without the slightest strife. When I met my wife in 1998, I was drumming simultaneously in two very active bands, as well as taking on sessions whenever able. We got married in 2000. She didn't protest then, nor has she raised objections since. She's as committed to my musical goings-on as I am.

My test for women has always been this: If you have a problem with my drumming, or hope there comes a time when I'll give it up, we have no future. My wife passed with flying colors. I show ongoing appreciation for her steady approval. My good fortune is extremely rare.
 
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GruntersDad

Honorary Lifetime CEO
Staff member
LOL @ GruntersDad!



My girlfriend doesn’t mind, because watching me play gets her “HOT“ ~grin~



I guess the trick is to find a partner who enjoys watching a drummer. And from what I’ve experienced over the past years, is that there are plenty of them.
I think the trick is to share time. Obviously spend time with the SO, the children, the pets etc., and not every free moment behind the kit. If they dislike the "noise" play softer or explain it isn't "noise"
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry" - Administrator
Staff member
she let me play at our wedding - says it all
See I would never do this because the wedding is HER day. (Do guys fret over and look forward to their wedding day as if it was the best day in their life?)

I always thought the better part of playing drums is not to play them at my wedding. I'm not a fan of stealing her thunder on that particular day.
 

NouveauCliche

Senior Member
Does your SO support your drumming or no?

I feel very lucky, my wife not only supports it but encourages it. She has also purchased gear for me as gifts. I can play whenever I want provided theres no reason not to.

I hear horror stories about sneaking gear into the house, hiding credit card bills, ultimatums of me or the drums.

Y'all have supportive SOs? I hope so.

I'm pretty sure it was part of the appeal when she signed on and certainly how I swung at least 3 maybe 4 points above me haha.

She still loves it and is looking forward to traveling even more on tours and stuff when COVID stops killing live music and she has more time, etc.

Every time I see or mention a new drum or cymbal she's like "DO IT" and she helped me figure out where in our house to put the studio and will hang out when I'm like arranging drums on new shelves or whatever - she's the absolute best.
 

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drumnut87

Silver Member
yep, shes a singer so knows the biz and what it can be like. shes cool with it and helps support me, and in turn i support her as she does a solo act every now and then :)
 

Stroman

Platinum Member
I am very lucky. My S.O. (and my ex S.O.) have been very supportive, as were my parents. This, despite the fact that I've never been able to earn a good living drumming, and it can be an expensive, intrusive hobby.

Lucky indeed. :)
 

Ransan

Senior Member
I think the trick is to share time. Obviously spend time with the SO, the children, the pets etc., and not every free moment behind the kit. If they dislike the "noise" play softer or explain it isn't "noise"
Exactly! I am sure if I chased the business perspective, smoke, crowds, etc... instead of being a ‘family guy’ first, the wife would have had a different perspective, and probably no longer been or be in my life.

Here’s my take on the hobby itself, Drums don’t have to make you money to justify acquisition.
It’s like buying a sports car expecting to enter in contests whether it be for show or performance to get a return on investment.
 
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