Anxiety or depression among household adults.

No Way Jose

Silver Member
The people that I personally know that committed suicide had terminal cancer.
 

felonious69

Well-known member
While I always say Talk, I also, because of the feelings I still hold toward that situation make it hard for ME to talk with people when they are down.
(Kinda pissed, kinda fed up...lots of feelings about it).
I know that kinda sucks, but someone kinda ripped me for saying "Talk" and then suggested getting them help getting counselling.
From my experience, counselling usually involves talk.
 

MrInsanePolack

Platinum Member
While I always say Talk, I also, because of the feelings I still hold toward that situation make it hard for ME to talk with people when they are down.
Sometimes just listening is enough. If my wife is depressed, I really dont need to say much if she feels like talking. I know it doesnt all work like that.

Talking is important though. The other option is ruminating in your own self loathing. Obviously that second option isnt healthy.

My therapist says we are like buckets. A bucket can only hold so much water before you have to empty it. If you dont empty the bucket, it starts to spill over and ruin everything else. Talking helps empty the bucket, as does exercise, playing drums, hitting stuff, screaming (while alone, not at anyone), etc. Figuring out how to empty the bucket helps a ton.
 

danondrums

Well-known member
While I always say Talk, I also, because of the feelings I still hold toward that situation make it hard for ME to talk with people when they are down.
(Kinda pissed, kinda fed up...lots of feelings about it).
I know that kinda sucks, but someone kinda ripped me for saying "Talk" and then suggested getting them help getting counselling.
From my experience, counselling usually involves talk.
Talking with a professional is a lot different than talking to a friend. You admit yourself that you find it difficult to talk with people when they are down. When people are down they feel like a burden on themselves and everyone around them and when they sense they are making someone uncomfortable it just makes them feel worse. Hence why I suggested not taking the burden of talking on yourself but guiding them toward a professional. I have a ton of experience on this matter so I hope you can take a step back and just listen and try to understand without taking offense.
 

Hewitt2

Senior Member
If this hellscape that is COVID has taught us anything, its that we can't take anyone's health & wellness for granted. Just because someone seems ok to me, doesn't necessarily mean that they are.

I agree with the above comments that reiterate the importance of checking-in with others, taking the time to be available to talk, and authentically demonstrating caring and empathy.
 

felonious69

Well-known member
Because of MY experiences, I realize I am not the best option for "talk".
I can and will show that I care, but, because of my experiences and the way I FEEL about them, I WON"T just simply be a yes man for their feelings.
Some folks say they like me cuz I say what's on my mind...I DO!
But there are limits...Here for example...
This house belongs to Bernhard, Andy, Bermuda and Grunter's Dad. I'm just a guest here and try to follow the rules.
Sometimes I get pissed off at what's said, but I can't reply with exactly what I think.
Same with someone in a vulnerable spot.
I'm not trained to deal with that.
When the SECOND call, in my family came...it came to me. My 15 yr old nephew had "voluntarily left". He was two when his dad chose that path.
I was charged with telling everyone else, and I DID NOT do it very well and I regret how that happened to this day.
I was VERY PISSED! Patrick had just told me "yesterday" that he was "great" and we played video games and hung out for quite a while. Then I get a call from Peggy the very next day who got to find that mess AGAIN! And a twelve gage leaves quite a mess I would guess. I am only guessing mind you but Peggy doesn't have to guess. She personally found that in her home for the second time. She is a great lady and doesn't ever deserve to find that...let alone twice!
So, yes...I do have MY issues with all of it.
I used to be bummed out all the time. I even painted all my apartment windows black once...The glass, NOT the trim...completely freaked my mom out! You can probably guess why.
But I REFUSE to feel like that all the time anymore.
 
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The Shepherd

Well-known member
People experiencing these negatives HAVE TO TALK!
Yes, if they can they should seek professional help as they are trained to deal with these situations.

Years ago I was having a very hard time at work. I ended up going to talk with a psychotherapist because I was getting really low.

With a few simple questions, she made me see that I wasn't the problem, my employer and their failed management style were to blame. It was like a light bulb going off and to this day I still think back to that realization, "I didn't create this mess and it isn't on me."

My sister is a therapist and she has an uncanny way of getting you to think on issues from various angles and brings things into a different perspective. People that are suffering from anxiety can easily become wrapped up into their own problems, winding themselves up tighter and tighter until they pop. Sometimes you need someone to help unwind you.
 

felonious69

Well-known member
Work...whether it's not having it, or any degree of asinine conditions at it, are often a huge trigger.
I had one job for ten and a half years and HATED it for 10 years of it.
I couldn't move on from it for a good portion because I was also in the middle of a custody suit.
I was miserable and started drinking A LOT again.
 

someguy01

Well-known member
Sometimes just listening is enough. If my wife is depressed, I really dont need to say much if she feels like talking. I know it doesnt all work like that.

Talking is important though. The other option is ruminating in your own self loathing. Obviously that second option isnt healthy.

My therapist says we are like buckets. A bucket can only hold so much water before you have to empty it. If you dont empty the bucket, it starts to spill over and ruin everything else. Talking helps empty the bucket, as does exercise, playing drums, hitting stuff, screaming (while alone, not at anyone), etc. Figuring out how to empty the bucket helps a ton.
I like the bucket analogy. My anger management therapist referred to me as a pressure cooker and that it's important to open the vent lest the cooker explode.
Lord knows it's exploded more than once.
 

Neal Pert

Well-known member
I have to admit this hits pretty close to home. I have a 2 year old daughter, and my wife and I are struggling. My mental health has never been worse, and my wife's is plummeting. Being a self-employed musician doesn't help the stress levels either.

Hey, do you ship your stuff to the US? Looks like you have a lot of good material out there plus private lessons to boot!

I know every single dude on this web site is a mind bogglingly good professional player, but maybe they have, you know, friends who could use some help with their drumming. :D.
 

Mighty_Joker

Silver Member
Hey, do you ship your stuff to the US? Looks like you have a lot of good material out there plus private lessons to boot!

I know every single dude on this web site is a mind bogglingly good professional player, but maybe they have, you know, friends who could use some help with their drumming. :D.

Hello, thanks very much. Yes I've shipped lots of my material to the US. Feel free to get in touch if you'd like to discuss anything in particular.

Thanks for reaching out :)
 
All situations are different but for me personally, talking with professionals did little to nothing. It was when I got the courage to talk to friends to try to put some of what I was going through into words, to blow my cover and share that I wasn’t a fifth as happy and optimistic as I managed to fake myself to act in public, to admit I’m vulnerable and risk being perceived as weak and that I have a really hard time dealing with things that some people can shrug off.

The road to improving mental health care and access is an effort to continually destigmatize it. Knocking down our covers and dealing with invisible wounds. It is important to be willing to listen and facilitate an openness with someone who you think might be struggling, even if they don’t show signs of it.

If you’ve been through it yourself you can anecdotally bring up your past during conversations to show that the topic is on the table. You can help normalize these mental health conditions if you open up about yours, whether your struggles are current or hopefully behind you. If you haven’t then know that you might not be able to understand the why, but give the person benefit of the doubt that whatever they’re dealing with is real.
Just my 2 cents
Be well!
 

Jeremy Crockett

Active member

Otto

Platinum Member
All I can say is be aware of the signs and symptoms of a mental health crisis and get assistance when needed.

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help

Talk with someone if you or someone you know gives the impression that there is a potential for danger to ones self or others.

The population here is responsible for a large amount of mental heath care via entertainment. Honor that value folks! You are NOT expendable and are likely the source of much needed stress relief for MANY others even with the reduction in performance opportunities.
 
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rhumbagirl

Senior Member
I've been involuntarily admitted for 3 days because I tried to convince a doctor to take my health seriously. What I experienced in that place - referred to as "psych ward" or just "psych" - is as horrific as the movies make them out to be. I now have a mark on my medical record that says I suffer from depression. It's been 10 yrs since and I still don't know what to do about it.

Anyway, just a story to illustrate the cautions that may need to be considered before just hopping over to the counselors office. Mental marks can affect employability, or so I hear.
 

felonious69

Well-known member
Counsellors are just like all other people. They have personalities, beliefs and proclivities. They are human.
I would imagine that just like cops, judges, priests, teachers, actors, lawyers, law-makers...whatever, they have just as much of a chance of being uncaring/uninformed scumbags, and/or felonious characters as anyone else.
 

felonious69

Well-known member
My son had a counsellor who did some sort of movement therapy with him.
One day, at school, his teacher asked him how he got those bruises on his arm. He told her he wipes out a lot on his new bike. She was AT HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY shortly before this, where I gave him his new bike which (now) had seven gears and hand brakes! BUT she got with his counsellor and they called Social Services.
Nothing came of it...except that I was PISSED!

Shortly after that, I dropped him off at his movement therapy...lasted about an hour each time...went to run an errand. I got about a mile down the road and she calls me and tells me that I need to come and get him because he was DOING MOVEMENT THERAPY and knocked a tooth loose!

I got back there and asked her: "Is THIS where I CALL Social Services?". "When I ask him and he tells me this happened DURING MOVEMENT THERAPY, should I believe him or SUSPECT something untoward?"

Very shortly after that I quit his movement therapy telling her in writing that I don't think that someone who doesn't trust me is conducive to a healthy therapy relationship with my child.
 

rhumbagirl

Senior Member
So what you're telling us is that you did time for something you didn't do? Hence the play on 'erroneous felony' in your userid. :oops:
Sorry, couldn't help myself!
 
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