6 month progress and performance anxiety- any advice welcome!

Haha thanks! Sometimes I see all these YouTube progress videos of 6 months and like… no where near. It’s hard not to compare so I’ve tried to steer clear of those videos for now. I also have to remember. It’s the internet haha
Yeah, don't let that stuff bother you. I see people every day who are more proficient than me at certain things, and I've been playing 47 years now. 😂

Here's the thing - none of them are me, and none of them are you. Music is essentially a language, and it's all about communication. You have to learn the language, but the important part is what you have to say. Some people are more well-spoken than others, but that has nothing to do with the content of the conversation, or the heart and passion of the people conversing. ☺️
 
Thanks everyone! Haha I hope I’m not a bother on this forum. hi hat stands lol, pedals problems, anxiety haha. You all are always so supportive. I don’t have any drummer friends I know in person, and the ones I have I don’t see ever, so it’s a nice to go to a place to chat about this crazy instrument we all decided to play 😝 and all that comes with it.
 
Hi all! I started playing the drums about 6 months ago. I LOVE it. At home I feel like I’m making progress! Not as fast as I’d like but I can be patient. It will take time. I’m still trying to figure out my proper grip and set up, but it’s improving every week. Especially my left hand! Although it still tends to be a buttface. I have an acoustic kit and a pad with a snare stand I practice on when I can. At least 7-10 hours a week or slightly more if my daughter goes to bed earlier haha.

My problem is I suffer terribly from performance anxiety. I just brain fart and increase tension. I’m generally comfortable talking to people but playing an instrument has always been difficult for me if I’m in front of people. (Which is terrible if you’re a drummer I know that’s why I want to get better) So at my lessons I feel like my instructor sees me improving at a crazy slow pace. The last lesson I just blew it. Which was crazy but I was so confident in my assignment going there! More than other days. I was really hard on myself but I’m starting to get muddled on the progress because they both feel very different. My instructor says he knows I have it in me. He could sense my frustration haha. And I’ve passed assignments well enough to move forward but, I just wish I could show in person what I can do. It’s definitely not perfect, but I don’t feel like a lost cause when I’m at home haha. In fact after my lesson I went to play my assignment and played it just fine. It’s frustrating! I follow a metronome fine and always practice with one. It just all goes out the window when I get in front of people! Argh!

I’m generally comfortable with my husband but maybe I need him to sit and watch me when I practice so I get used to having eyes on me? I know I could make a video and show my teacher but I want to be able to SHOW my teacher.

Anyways. It’s just hard for me gauge if I’m actually improving or not. Anyone ever experience this? Or find solutions? Or will better with time? I’d love to be able to play in a band in 4-5 years.

Thank you! I hope you all are well and having a great holiday season! 🥰
First, congrats for picking up the sticks, learning to play drums is a gift you're making to yourself and I salute you for it.

Second, I am not a native drummer. Have been a professional musician all my life as a singer/songwriter/guitar player. I only recently switched over to the drums (less than 5 years) and I can definitely feel you on the performance anxiety front.

Even in my primary area of expertise as a frontman, I've always been prone to nervousness and tensing up when I had to break out new material or play with people I hardly knew or in novel context etc etc. Mind goes somewhat blank, you become forgetful of stuff you know that you know, fingers/arms become clumsy and tight and shaky. And you got that deer in the headlight look. Not great. At all.

One of the best exercises I've ever been taught was by a theater acting coach friend of mine, this is gonna sound bizare but I still use this "technique" to this day.

So he told me: "when you get into the room you're gonna perform in, be it the stage, studio, rehearsal/audition space, try and take about a minute to go in before you need and take a deep deep breath (if it's a stage, try this from behind the curtains). And as you draw air in, imagine that you are a giant who is inhaling everything in, the room, the sound, the people, the lights, EVERYTHING... Hold it in for a few seconds and try to picturing it all amalgamating with you, becoming part of you. So that when you blow the air back out in one slow and long release, you put everything back into place, but, and this is the important part, now you OWN everything because everything has been a part of you.

This may seem silly but it has grounded me on many occasions. It WILL get better with time, I swear...

So I hope your anxiety subsides enough so you can one day share with us what you are working on so we can applaud and cheer you on. That's what communities such as this one are for, after all ;-)
 
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Thanks everyone! Haha I hope I’m not a bother on this forum. hi hat stands lol, pedals problems, anxiety haha. You all are always so supportive. I don’t have any drummer friends I know in person, and the ones I have I don’t see ever, so it’s a nice to go to a place to chat about this crazy instrument we all decided to play 😝 and all that comes with it.
You also need some musician friends to jam with in a "no-pressure" scenario. You'll get used to play music, which is the end goal anyways (I'm always amazed at youtube drummers that don't have even ONE video of playing with people, it's all solos and drum covers... they probably play hundreds of takes to get the "perfect" video, so don't get discouraged by them).

Maybe the husband can take up guitar?
 
You also need some musician friends to jam with in a "no-pressure" scenario. You'll get used to play music, which is the end goal anyways (I'm always amazed at youtube drummers that don't have even ONE video of playing with people, it's all solos and drum covers... they probably play hundreds of takes to get the "perfect" video, so don't get discouraged by them).

Maybe the husband can take up guitar?
We do have a bass collecting dust! I picked it up off a kid who was selling it a while back and learned some talking heads lol but my heart was was set on the drums. Haha maybe he will learn.
 
Some friends of mine did it the opposite way. He is a bluesman that played guitar and bass drum as a one-man band, and his wife took up drums (in her 40s and with 3 kids!). Now they play live together:


I still remember when she didn't want to sit in jam sessions... and now look at her!
 
My problem is I suffer terribly from performance anxiety.
Practice with your eyes closed or, better still, wear a sleep mask while practicing. Get your eyes to stop controlling your mind. Get your ears and limbs to be the primary sensory guides while playing. Use the sleep mask when you play a routine for your teacher. (You’re prolly thinking “no way”, but it works).

Down the road, you will play the loudest notes in the room. A rimshot. An intro flam. A ƒƒƒ crash + bass drum. The attention you attract will stall your mind if you let it.

Down the road, people will jump out of their seats to dance to your beats. They will laugh and smile and no one else will be playing. You will be alone. Turn off your eyes. Hear & feel what you’re doing.

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Some friends of mine did it the opposite way. He is a bluesman that played guitar and bass drum as a one-man band, and his wife took up drums (in her 40s and with 3 kids!). Now they play live together:


I still remember when she didn't want to sit in jam sessions... and now look at her!
Awesome!!
 
It’s only drums, nobody dies, and it’s NOT a race. :) You’re allowed to make mistakes and you are only 6 months into a lifetime of fun! Have you discussed your anxiety with your teacher, they may have helpful suggestions of their own to make the lessons less stressful for you? Your teacher is the source of your anxiety because you are [too] keen to demonstrate how hard you have been working and that you’re making good progress. Gigs are different as you know that only 1 or 2 people max in the room can do what you do. Don’t rely on external validation to tell you how well you’re doing, trust yourself and bear in mind that the learning curve can be wobbly with peaks and troughs. Your job at this stage of your journey is to simply enjoy playing and forget about all the other stuff…we’ll worry about that when you get your opening slot with Evanescence…keep smashing it!! :D (y)
 
Playing a musical instrument is like driving a car. At first we're hesitant but after a while it becomes easier.

For me to progress & gain confidence my Dad made me drive on long road trips.

Playing with others, forming bands & recording my practice sessions on drumless tracks has enabled me to progress & become more confident.

Oh & apart from a little playing at school I only started again at 57. Just had the two bands play at my 70th birthday party 🎉 🥳
 
Some of the guests thought we were a little loud. David the bass player rather laconically said they probably had the wrong setting on their hearing aids!
 
Surprisingly I wasn’t as nervous and got through a decent amount of stuff without totally biffin it.
That’s very cool. Being recorded is probably less stressful for certain people. Or maybe it helps if you start doing it early. Depending on how detail-obsessed one is, being recorded has that sense of permanence to every note, like you can’t take it back and if you mess up you may as well start all over again. I figure this is a similar feeling like when a teacher’s eyes are on you. You definitely have a head start if you already feel comfortable playing with a microphone on.

That paralysis you feel in front of your teacher may be a different kind of block. It’s totally understandable since a camera is an inanimate object, and your teacher is a knowledgeable drummer. Also the stakes seem pretty high cuz he’s watching you very intently and thinking about your technique and you must be wondering if you appear to be any "better" than you were last week. What a nightmare, lol.
We should have a laugh at it too, and we should probably just relax. It’s not like the teacher is gonna go and tell the other drum teachers about this one terrible student he has who definitely isn’t ‘the one’. :ROFLMAO:

A little bit of Zen mixed with some Captain Obvious here, but I figure drum teachers would probably be most impressed if their students were at least relaxed while playing in front of them, whatever level the student is at.

I think it was harder to watch me looking totally not cool while playing the drums 😂
But that's also very observant of you. It's hard enough to focus on your technique and your sound let alone posture and the way you look when you are moving around the kit. When and if you start making drumming videos to share, its surprising how many annoying little things you notice. Things like your posture of course, and the faces you might be making when you mess up. Even the clutter in the background or the angle of the camera or just the way your socks look, lol.
 
...When and if you start making drumming videos to share, its surprising how many annoying little things you notice. Things like your posture of course, and the faces you might be making when you mess up. Even the clutter in the background or the angle of the camera or just the way your socks look, lol.
Then you'll get an absolutely perfect take and think, "Dang, I should have worn pants. That one was worth posting!!"

No? Maybe that's just me. 😂

(Sorry, I've been possessed by Art @GetAgrippa, lol)
 
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You'll build more confidence and your anxiety will lessen in time. Be patient and stick to it!
 
That’s very cool. Being recorded is probably less stressful for certain people. Or maybe it helps if you start doing it early. Depending on how detail-obsessed one is, being recorded has that sense of permanence to every note, like you can’t take it back and if you mess up you may as well start all over again. I figure this is a similar feeling like when a teacher’s eyes are on you. You definitely have a head start if you already feel comfortable playing with a microphone on.

That paralysis you feel in front of your teacher may be a different kind of block. It’s totally understandable since a camera is an inanimate object, and your teacher is a knowledgeable drummer. Also the stakes seem pretty high cuz he’s watching you very intently and thinking about your technique and you must be wondering if you appear to be any "better" than you were last week. What a nightmare, lol.
We should have a laugh at it too, and we should probably just relax. It’s not like the teacher is gonna go and tell the other drum teachers about this one terrible student he has who definitely isn’t ‘the one’. :ROFLMAO:

A little bit of Zen mixed with some Captain Obvious here, but I figure drum teachers would probably be most impressed if their students were at least relaxed while playing in front of them, whatever level the student is at.


But that's also very observant of you. It's hard enough to focus on your technique and your sound let alone posture and the way you look when you are moving around the kit. When and if you start making drumming videos to share, its surprising how many annoying little things you notice. Things like your posture of course, and the faces you might be making when you mess up. Even the clutter in the background or the angle of the camera or just the way your socks look, lol.
So many good points! Yeah being recorded I feel the pressure but the camera can’t judge my drumming unless I show it to someone lol. So there is less pressure. Especially because the camera can’t pass me on to the next lesson haha.

I’ll be sticking with it, and moving forward! Mind over matter. Haha
 
Likely all of us have been there. Just keep playing drums. Jamming with other musicians helps. Try taking a practice pad to a park or just outside and practice. You are learning to stay focused in the presence of distractions.
 
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