I knew it was gonna be a bad gig when...

You know it's going to be bad when the club owner says, "If you don't bring at least 50 people in, you'll never play here again."
 
You know it's going to be bad when the club owner says, "If you don't bring at least 50 people in, you'll never play here again."
Are those the same club owners that give the band a percentage of the door, but put "their guy" on the door taking the money. :eek:
 
When you agree on your set time when booking the gig and get asked to play later when you actually arrive.
 
When someone yells "Freebird"
 
When the soundguy comes up to me and ask me to duct tape the heads on my kit to cut out any resonance, after I have finetuned it before I left home.

When there is no backstage at the venue, you basically can't relax anywhere, have to be social all night if you dont want to be that weird guy in the corner.

When there is no real stage clearance, minimal security and some people in the audience is already drunk when you do soundcheck...
 
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When someone yells "Freebird"
Oh, that happens all the time. Our response is, "Freeberg. He's the band's lawyer."

One time, we said, sure, we'll play it, and then we did a Reggae version that ended right before the big jam thing at the end. The guy who requested it was mystified.
 
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You know it's going to be bad when the club owner says, "If you don't bring at least 50 people in, you'll never play here again."

yeah....to that guy I would say:" we will bring as many people as your advertisements for the show got to...."
 
...when the sound guy is 3.5 hours late to the call time.
...when he doesn't bring everything that's on the rider
...when the backline that he brings is so old and crusty that some things randomly work / don't work over the course of the show

I had me one of these yesterday. Good show overall, but I emailed the promoter that they need to talk to the sound company. Not cool.
 
yeah....to that guy I would say:" we will bring as many people as your advertisements for the show got to...."
I used to say, "It's also your responsibility to bring people in."

Years ago, we played a bar in NJ, and that night, the only crowd was 12 losers watching sports on TV. After the first set, the barmaid told me the owner wanted to see me downstairs. I went down, and he started berating me for not bringing people on. I fired back, "And where's your crowd? All you brought in was 12 guys watching hockey. That's bullsh**. Don't give me sh** for not bringing anyone in when you didn't either."

He calmed right down, we cut a deal, packed up and went home.
 
Good on you Commander. Stand up to the people who try and pin bringing in the crowd on the band. It's his place, not yours. He backed down not because he knew you were right, he backed down because you challenged him like a man should. He knew he had no leg to stand on. He's probably not used to musicians attacking him. Good one.
 
You know the show is going suck when the "soundman" tapes rags on the tom batter heads.
 
Good on you Commander. Stand up to the people who try and pin bringing in the crowd on the band. It's his place, not yours. He backed down not because he knew you were right, he backed down because you challenged him like a man should. He knew he had no leg to stand on. He's probably not used to musicians attacking him. Good one.
Thinking back on it, he could have had a gun in his desk.
 
When someone yells "Freebird"
I heard a performer on stage correctly reply, "Be careful what you ask for." Because you might just get it.

That said, we play it. Doubtful that any other band around here does. About 2 times a month we play it as the last song.

The response can be quite interesting. Sometimes people who've been with you thru the night get up and leave, but not soon enough for them. Others try to dance until they realize the time changed and they stand there realizing they can't go the distance. Younger people who've never seen it hang around unsure if they should be into it, but they want to see it all for the experience. Others video all that they can right on top of you. Some are going to rush the stage when you're done to congratulate you.
 
Some of the old chestnuts that make me cringe:
- Some part of the deal falling through, i.e. "I know we agreed on x per band member, but all I can pay is (25% of x) per man"
- Being on a double/triple bill and being informed *at the gig* that you'll be using someone else's kit - or the other drummers are expecting to use yours
- Showing up for a gig and finding ridiculously bad infrastructure (i.e. one extension cord for the entire band, please set up on this patch of dirt in the burning sun, the provided PA is less powerful than your average karaoke speaker)
- Utterly hostile event/venue staff who can't be pleased about anything
 
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