Kids do struggle with counting but the rewards are worth the effort.
I've accepted the fact that I'm going to encounter resistance in the counting dept., but that resistance doesn't keep me from getting it across. I look my students right in the eye and say, "Look, counting is difficult at first, but I KNOW that you have the ability to count and play at the same time, and I also know that once you do, you'll be a better drummer." I think kids are looking for their teacher to give them confidence and direction. Also, once they see that I'm serious about the counting thing, they accept it.
If they're really resisting, (this happens with kids who've already been playing awhile, but never learned to count) I'll say, "I'm sorry, but I can't let you move on until you can COUNT this comfortably, even if you PLAY it correctly w/out counting." Kids often think that they are learning counting so that "Page 13, Exercise No. 2" will be correct. That's not true. They're learning counting because they will have a better sense of rhythm, reading, and learning by ear, than if they don't learn counting. Remind them of that. I'll take the sticks away and work on just counting and clapping sometimes to get the point across, I also have them write the counts in their books. It's just something I'm firm about, and kids get it after a few lessons. Quite often it becomes a kind of bonding experience actually, because they struggle with it, then they get it! and that gives them a little more faith that they can learn other things that are difficult.