Drumming with newborn baby

Hewitt2

Hewitt2

Senior Member
Hi everyone,

New member here - apologies if this topic was already posted elsewhere, but just wanted to get some of your thoughts/experiences on how you balanced the responsibilities of rearing a newborn baby with a full-time job and its impact on any sort of productive practice routine?

I took drums up again last year after a several year lay-off and am loving it. However, the
ability to lock myself away for 2-hours at a time is no longer realistic. I find myself lucky if I can get on the kit for 45-minutes and/or practice on my knees at the bedside at night while the baby is sleeping. I signed up for lessons recently during the empty spaces of my work day, if for no other reason than to try to keep up and improve marginally but I realize that the reduced ability to practice may make this a waste of money.

It would be great to hear from those who went through the same thing as you may have helpful insights.

Thanks!
 
Damn! KIS beat me to the punchline.

As father to a 10 year old, I can impart the following pieces of "advice":
1 - Start as you mean to continue
2 - Don't do once what you aren't prepared to carry on doing

Practice with some sort of sound deadening, whether that's "sound offs", mesh heads or something else is up to you.

While the New Drummer is sleeping, use a baby monitor with visual sound level indicator in your line of sight.

Enjoy the journey!
 
I agree with you, KIS. They are way to fragile at that age. Wait till they are at least teenagers.
 
Hmm. By the time I bought my second kit (fifteen years after selling my first one), I was in no mood to negotiate practice times with my offspring. I had a 5-year old, a 2-year old, and another on the way, and a wife who said "yes" to a drum set in the basement.

After my first 30minute kit-breaking-in session I stopped and heard the howling upstairs. That's when I decided to use hearing protection.

After 18 years, they are still alive and not deaf. They all actively play instruments (bass, piano, french horn) and practice regularly. When home, they are able to hear & recognize when I have a good practice session and when it's a flop. They also remind me to take my sticks with me when I go work on location, and they are 100% supportive of the bands I participate in.
 
I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old currently. When they're asleep I practice on a pad which sits on a mute on my snare. I switch out the bass beater for a Vater bomber beater, and I put mutes on the toms, and moongels/mutes on the cymbals. That, combined with being on the other side of the house (three closed doors and walls between them and me) and a few noise machines for the kids, means they never wake up.

Of course I can't hit with full strength. I usually reserve a little practice time on the weekends (with my wife's permission) where I can bang away at full volume. At this point in my drumming career I probably need to practice mostly on a pad instead of a full kit anyway, so it all works out. With a newborn, which sleeps up to 20 hours a day, full-volume practicing may not be practicable, but in about a year that problem should go away as they will sleep less.

As far as carving out the time, I have a full time day job but I try to practice an hour a day at least. Sometimes parental responsibilities make that impossible, but on the whole if you have an understanding spouse as I do, it can be done. (It helps if you trade an hour of "you time" for an hour of "her time" naturally!)
 
Wow I guess now it was about 18-19 years ago my wife gave me a Pearl Forum kit for Christmas-we had a 1, 3 and 7 year old. They had my kit hid all over the house (first house we bought) and I was clueless. I was so surprised! I had to play in a tiny 6X8 closet with a angled roof off our upstairs master bedroom. I could barely fit in there and it was just insulation and no dry wall. I had forgiving neighbors and family-after awhile I got a few compliments from my neighbors. They like my taste in music. It was a great neighborhood-I only had the police called on me once.
 
julius said:
As far as carving out the time, I have a full time day job but I try to practice an hour a day at least. Sometimes parental responsibilities make that impossible, but on the whole if you have an understanding spouse as I do, it can be done. (It helps if you trade an hour of "you time" for an hour of "her time" naturally!)
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Yes - great point. This to me is the core issue - not so much sound dampening/isolation issues but actually finding the time and not leaving most of the major responsibilities with my significant other and feeling guilty about it.

What I think we are trying to do is I get about 50 minutes or so in the early morning and some time on my practice pad at night in exchange for me watching the baby when I get home from work. We will see if that works.
 
Try rigging up a sling so you can hold the infant while you practice (with sound dampening of some kind on the drums, of course). Maybe you can use the same set-up to practice while you breastfeed, although that might not be possible. I've never had a baby, so I don't know how hands-on you have to be for that.

Also, assuming you have a lover/husband, of course he won't mind caring for the child for a few hours while you practice, so don't be afraid to ask him! If he's a good partner, he no doubt will want to spend much of his free time giving you foot rubs, preparing meals, washing diapers, and cleaning the endlessly messy home, so be sure to let him know you need him to keep the baby monitor on while you're in drummer land. This is assuming you're not too exhausted to play at all.

Having a baby is a huge responsibility, and you already know that you have to make a lot of sacrifices to keep a happy home. Hopefully, your other half will understand that after dragging that weight and responsibility around for a few months, you've earned more than a little "me time." Good luck to both of you, and have fun with that baby!

;-)
 
Nancy_C said:
Try rigging up a sling so you can hold the infant while you practice (with sound dampening of some kind on the drums, of course). Maybe you can use the same set-up to practice while you breastfeed, although that might not be possible. I've never had a baby, so I don't know how hands-on you have to be for that.

Also, assuming you have a lover/husband, of course he won't mind caring for the child for a few hours while you practice, so don't be afraid to ask him! If he's a good partner, he no doubt will want to spend much of his free time giving you foot rubs, preparing meals, washing diapers, and cleaning the endlessly messy home, so be sure to let him know you need him to keep the baby monitor on while you're in drummer land. This is assuming you're not too exhausted to play at all.

;-)
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lol thanks - I had to read your post a few times to understand that you thought I was a woman. I'm actually a guy, hence my confusion with rigging up a sling to facilitate breastfeeding! Not sure the baby would enjoy that experience (nor would I!).

For what it's worth, I have been good in changing the diapers, preparing meals, and helping with the cleaning, so hopefully I am generating good will with the wife!
 
Nah, I figured you were a guy, and then I wondered, why do I assume that? Let's pretend it's the other way 'round!

Thanks for taking it in good humor, which is how I generally intend things.

I sincerely wish you all the best with the baby.
 
I'm in the same boat as the original poster.

I got back into drums about 2 years ago (after a 10+yr layoff) with a new found passion for playing. My skills were improving and I was more solid than I've ever been, my band was getting tons of shows, and then last summer....BOOM. My wife is pregnant (an oopsy but everything happens for a reason.) The ONLY thing I could think about was how it would affect my drumming and music (nevermind the COST of having a baby/school/......) Big time panic mode.

So my daughter was born in February. After about 2 weeks, we decided to test it out. I went down into my basement to play drums while my wife remained upstairs. We have a "wide open" stairwell so there is no door, thus all the sound comes upstairs although my basement is finished with carpet and drywall so it absorbs "some" noise.

To this day, every time I go down to play drums.....she falls asleep. Yep, she falls asleep. (At least she doesn't poop to tell me what she REALLY thinks about my playing!) I will say that my wife went to almost all my shows and would come downstairs while I was playing WHILE she was pregnant. Supposedly the doctor said that this will expose her to the noise and sounds to make her less likely to freak out when she hears them as a newborn or child. I guess it has worked thus far.

I only play FULL rock volume occasionally but I'm still hitting the drums, and drums are by nature loud anyway. Occasionally at late night if I play, I'll use Multirods

The only thing I'm finding is less TIME to play because I'm enjoying so much time with her. My one hour a day has been reduced to maybe 3 hours a week. Sneak in 15-20 minutes here and there.....All I really do is go over the cover songs my band is playing anyway.

So best of luck to you my friend....I, on the other hand will be getting my vasectomy on June 20! :D
 
Lol - funny how my older threads are making coming back to life.

In answer to your question my 5-year old has very little interest in drums or music in general. But my younger 3-year old is inherently more rhythmic and loves dancing, singing and yes drumming when I sit him at the kit. So we will see!
 
Great topic! I have a related challenge, how to play at my kit while having a 5 month old sitting on my knee. He's my latest grandson, and he already "air drums" to music (taught by his dad, who holds his arms while the baby sits on his knee). A few days ago the baby started to slap my hand with both hands while we were watching a music video on the TV.

The challenge is to somehow strap him onto my knee so we both have our hands free to play together. I am thinking of a modified Daddy Saddle to strap onto my knee. (He's also going to need some sort of hearing protection.) I am modifying a pair of sugar maple drumsticks - 8A - by cutting down to size.

As for the original post above. There is a way to have the baby in the same room if you can find a way to protect their hearing. My own children and now grandchildren all can sleep through almost any noise. Even while their were newborns, there was always some sort of music in their environment (different genres with the exception of heavy metal).

I have used digital drumkits where I have used headphones, but found that the mere noise of hitting the heads to be more annoying to members of the household, so I now use an acoustic kit (the musicality is the main factor).

I have read research where even infants benefit from exposure to drumming - as long as their hearing is protected.
 
I have a 6 year old son and a 15 month old daughter. I started taking up acoustic drums when my daughter was a newborn during the start of the pandemic. Yeah dude, it's tough when you have small kids in the house. I live in a 1 story brick ranch with no basement so it's extremely loud in the house when I practice. My wife is afraid I'm going to affect my kids' hearing.

For me, I practice when the kids are out of the house. My wife and the grandmas love to take the kids out to family fun stuff around town during the week and on weekends. That's my window of opportunity to jump on the kit and practice. Sometimes I can only get one good practice session in a week, while sometimes I get 2 or 3 in. I also take lessons locally to help sharpen my skills and that gives me some time each week to actually leave the house and spend some time with an instructor.

It's tough but do-able. You just have to slide in some kit time when you can. In all honestly, I've never had it affect my progress. I constantly feel like I'm gradually gaining more skill, even during the times when I can't play as much because the kids are home more (like in the winter). You just gotta do the best you can.
 
JDFaulky said:
I have a 6 year old son and a 15 month old daughter. I started taking up acoustic drums when my daughter was a newborn during the start of the pandemic. Yeah dude, it's tough when you have small kids in the house. I live in a 1 story brick ranch with no basement so it's extremely loud in the house when I practice. My wife is afraid I'm going to affect my kids' hearing.

For me, I practice when the kids are out of the house. My wife and the grandmas love to take the kids out to family fun stuff around town during the week and on weekends. That's my window of opportunity to jump on the kit and practice. Sometimes I can only get one good practice session in a week, while sometimes I get 2 or 3 in. I also take lessons locally to help sharpen my skills and that gives me some time each week to actually leave the house and spend some time with an instructor.

It's tough but do-able. You just have to slide in some kit time when you can. In all honestly, I've never had it affect my progress. I constantly feel like I'm gradually gaining more skill, even during the times when I can't play as much because the kids are home more (like in the winter). You just gotta do the best you can.
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the kid is 7 years old now...
 
The takeaway I got is Hewitt never got that vasectomy ha ha
 
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