Sorry Larry, I was taken up with family matters last night, so couldn't get to this. Just woken up after sleeping on the couch all night, & my first thought was, I gotta send Larry a support message here.
You must feel like you've been chewing on a lemon, there's that much of a bitter taste in your mouth. This isn't band politics, this is personal. How you managed to avoid breaking his nose, I'll never know. That level of disrespect for your life partner is way off the scale, especially as she's clearly a supportive gem.
You've posted about this self centred & posessive little prick before, so, regrettably, this comes as little surprise. You're completely right to walk too. If what remains of the band isn't exceptional, why go through all the effort to find a replacement player & rework a flawed & tainted band. The other thing that hasn't been mentioned here, is your good lady's view on this. I'm sure she's equally soured by the experience and probably doesn't want the reminder of how her efforts were spat back in her face.
Now down to music. I know you like the different audience demographic associated with a rock band, that's cool, but I think that can be encompassed within something closer to your heart. How about joining/starting a boogie band. Boogie has it all imo. The lovelyness of blues, but delivered in a "girls, hit the dance floor" package. It's got you written all over it Larry. Additionally, things happen for a reason, so maybe that reason is it's about time Larry started his own band. That way, it's people you choose, with a vibe & schedule you want, all on your terms. Yes, I know that's a bit of work, but no more than you've already invested, only to be crapped on. Go on Larry, you know you want to do it! If you do, make me super jealous & include a pumpin' brass section too. Now that would get the chicks off their nests!