Druid, great point about the inner critic. There are times when the inner critic has an important role and times when he (she, in my case) needs to sleep - even when practising. The science and art comment is pertinent here.
I find in private practice the inner critic belongs during the "science" part, say, working with a metronome. Then I like to turn the "nome" off and play the same thing at that tempo, but with
soul - at times with the "critic" and at times without. Back and forth.
When it comes to gigs, it simply has to be fun although that's not so easy when filling in for another drummer, don't know the songs all that well, and you have a dictator-style band leader.
Meat the Beat, I love your anecdote about doing a bow after messing up - perfect
Oceansikth, also love your impromptu jam.
I find that we can easily fall into the trap of trying to produce performances that will impress (or at least not be judged by other musos) rather than be loved. I've done that plenty myself. However, most people want to see a band to love rather than be impressed by. That's why my old band was cheered after the royal stuffup I recounted in my earlier post - we had become vulnerable and therefore loveable. However, had a record company rep been present, all the cheering in the world probably wouldn't have saved us.
Whatever. If you're ambitious for success and you're good enough then it's almost impossible for you to mess up enough to stymie your chances. Relying on a flukey great performance isn't what it's about when you want to be a pro, in which case it just means that when you are good enough your time will come. Otherwise, your gigs are part of your education and hopefully will be fun enough to bring good memories. So, no matter which way you go, getting out there and having a good time with your band is the name of the game.
One thing I can say is, before the gig, try not to skip on the sound check and be fussy if you have the chance. One thing that freaks out new drummers is walking on stage and finding that it sounds NOTHING like in the rehearsal room. I remember making that mistake at the Tivoli many moons ago. My bass drum had a
huge sound though the monitors, my snare could be heard and my toms and cymbals almost inaudible. I could barely hear the bass player and the guitar sound was like a big wash. Because it was the biggest gig we'd played at the time we weren't assertive enough to get things fixed and, as a support, didn't feel we were in a position to question the work of the "big time" enginneer. Our gig abviously lacked soul because it's hard for us to generate a good feel when the sound sucks.
For that reason I always enjoyed smaller venues more because you had control over your sound.