Unreliable band members

Hi all, new here, playing in two bands at the mo, one does hardcore punk originals and that's going ok with regular rehearsals and the odd gig every now and then. The problem is the other one, pop rock with a mix of covers and originals. Our bass player works shifts in a hospital and so far has shown up to about 1 in every 3 rehearsals. It's bad enough especially as we only get together once every 2 to 3 weeks, so I spend all that time gearing up for it, only to find out on the day of the practice that she can't make it. Then when she does actually make it, she's spent so long away that she's forgotten the songs and has to be shown them again, thus waisting more time and slowing down progress even further.

We've therefore made a democratic decision to find another bassist, difficult, but it seems like it's the only way forward. Do you find that there's someone in your band totally slowing down your progress? How long does it take before you say enough is enough? Or are you too polite and let it drag on and on?

.. Or maybe that band member is you with your action-packed busy life!

If the band you are in is going to last then everyone needs to have similar level of dedication. Most band have a few members that put in more effort than others but.... the differences can't be too extreme.

As a drummer my ruling is that I will get myself and my gear to the rehersal /gig/studio on time, material learnt, ready to go. However I won't shift PA or get involved in other musicians gear woes (especially those without a car).

However, I always suggest discussing things in a direct plain manner, before firing and hiring. Sometimes the person annoying everyone else is just oblivious to the frustrations.

State that the band are going to reherse xyz and when, then if they can't, won't or don't make the rehearsals then move on. Sometimes people straighten out sometimes they don't.

Captain Bash said:

As a drummer my ruling is that I will get myself and my gear to the rehersal /gig/studio on time, material learnt, ready to go. However I won't shift PA or get involved in other musicians gear woes (especially those without a car).

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Not sure what you mean. Do you mean you won't help with the PA? You won't pick up another band member on the way?

I would think the PA is everybody's responsibility, at least huffing it in/out of a gig.

If the band member is holding up their own weight but can't make rehearsals due to a crazy work schedule, that's one thing. You say that she has to be shown the songs over and over, which indicates a lack of practice on her own and a lack of familiarity with the music in general. You might end up with her forgetting songs in the middle of a show.

I've been in bands where work schedules preclude frequent rehearsals, and the only way it works is if everyone spends a LOT of individual practice time on the material, using a pretty steady roadmap of each song that won't change each time you play it. If one member can't or won't make that sort of commitment, then it makes it hard on everyone.

Have the talk with her and try to sort it out first. If it's still not improving, I think a parting could be justified.

And in every band I'm in, everyone helps load and unload everything as much as possible. I have always worked that way and I get called back a lot.

Flakey musicians?

No way

Music is full of flakes because, in theory, musicians don't have to have real jobs.

Everyone in the band should carry equal responsibility and respect for one another. If someone is not practicing their parts and not making it to rehearsals, then they are disrespecting the effort you have put in and letting the whole band down by slowing progress. The only way to go is to confront them with the issue, and see if they are willing to pick up their act. If not, then a new bassist is the way to go. If one person is dragging the band back then they are being selfish and disrespectful.

I would point out the problems to the bassist first and find out If they have the time, or have the desire, to do more practice at home. Tell them how motivated the rest of the members are and find out if they are also comitted to the band. Once its out there its then up to the bassist to make a decision, are they in or are they out, she may simply just not have the time. On the other hand the heads up may be all thats needed and save you the pain of finding another bass player.

Some good points folks, much appreciated, especially that of the band member who doesn't show up much but can be counted on because parts have been practised alone and rehearsals aren't slowed down. One thing I forgot to mention was that she's rarely free at weekends, which would make any chances of doing gigs very slim (we haven't done any yet by the way). The thing that bugs me is that there seems to be this lack of personal liability, like she's totally unaware that she's letting anyone down. A sort of, 'well I'm a busy person and that's that, so deal with it' kind of attitude. No apologies or remorse.

Well, the guitarist (who could also be described as the band leader) has said that he's taking care of it and that he's already found someone else to try out for the next rehearsal. I'm sorry for her, but she's created an unworkable situation. So this leads to another question. If people are so unreliable or can't get their priorities sorted, why did they bother joining a band in the first place?

Unreliable band members? Never, I'm not having that- there's no such thing.

; )

I could moan all day but I'll save you all the hassle of having to read it. Haha.

It sounds like her schedule would make it tough to work with anyways. if she cna't always make rehearsals, then what about gigs?

On a side note though, were you writing out parts for her, or just expecting her to remember all of the songs? Again that won't change the fact that she doens't have time, but it would get rid of the need for so many rehearsals. There are a few groups that I play with regularly, and I think I might rehears once or twice year. If they want to add new songs, they write out charts and we just play it.

tcspears said:

On a side note though, were you writing out parts for her, or just expecting her to remember all of the songs?

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Every time we started working on a new song, the guitarist/bandleader emailed her the parts written for her, but even so she came back to rehearsals getting lost during songs and asking for help. Notice that I'm using the past tense now...

opentune said:

Not sure what you mean. Do you mean you won't help with the PA? You won't pick up another band member on the way?

I would think the PA is everybody's responsibility, at least huffing it in/out of a gig.

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I think this depends on the size of PA rig and gig and how regular these are. Open tune you are right the PA is NOT my job, my preference is that the band hire a third party whom are experts or use in house PA augmented by extras. Carting a kit out the house, setting it up, mixing it up,sound check, then playing and tear down is enough.

And yes I get a lot of gigs and the rest of the band appreciate I take care of my business.

Right now I'm the unreliable guy. In the last month I've been offered so much work that I'm cancelling lower paying gigs in favor of higher paying ones. I don't know what changed. All of a sudden the business started coming in.

Erberderber said:

Some good points folks, much appreciated, especially that of the band member who doesn't show up much but can be counted on because parts have been practised alone and rehearsals aren't slowed down. One thing I forgot to mention was that she's rarely free at weekends, which would make any chances of doing gigs very slim (we haven't done any yet by the way). The thing that bugs me is that there seems to be this lack of personal liability, like she's totally unaware that she's letting anyone down. A sort of, 'well I'm a busy person and that's that, so deal with it' kind of attitude. No apologies or remorse.

Well, the guitarist (who could also be described as the band leader) has said that he's taking care of it and that he's already found someone else to try out for the next rehearsal. I'm sorry for her, but she's created an unworkable situation. So this leads to another question. If people are so unreliable or can't get their priorities sorted, why did they bother joining a band in the first place?

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Many busy people just have bad time... management skills. The biggest culprits are: watching too much TV, heinously long car commutes, and ADD. I've tried to start multiple bands/clubs, and the above three characteristics are no good.

You should have pitty on them, and try not to flaunt how you have the luxury of enough time to have multiple bands too much.

Had a lead singer with bipolar disorder. That sucked sometimes. But otherwise great voice, great stage presence, and pretty gifted musically for someone with zero training.

Never knew what he was going to do or say though. He was like a timebomb with a timer that just displayed a random countdown; you never knew when it was suddenly going to read 0:00 and BOOM!

Oh god...this thread is striking so many chords.

Band I'm in have a bass player who is a police Constable and therefore is committed to working shifts. Other three of us would do gigs literally every weekend, even ever night, if we could, but this guys shift patterns really restrict the number of times we can play out.

Lead guitarist is a bit stupid and unreservedly racist. Not racist in a nasty way. He wouldn't hurt anyone or anything. He's like one of these old people who don't actually realise that they shouldn't be saying things. It's not even like he doesn't like Asians. He gets on like a house on fire with a mate of mine from Canada who comes over whose of Indian origin. Bass player summed guitarist up once by saying "he's a twat, but he's OUR twat".

Fact is, both are very good friends of mine. I've learnt to work around their weaknesses. As I'm sure they have me (I can be incredibly grumpy sometimes....especially post gigs).

Captain Bash said:

If the band you are in is going to last then everyone needs to have similar level of dedication...

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That could mean that you need to be LESS dedicated.

If the band is a casual, occasional pastime for some members, and a serious endeavour for others, nobody's wrong, they're just not in agreement. Maybe the less committed members need to get more serious. Maybe the more serious members need to relax and learn to treat it like a casual hobby.

Either way, if a band can't reach a consensus about how serious they are, it isn't a band that's going to last.