When is it time to leave a band?

Raging Moon

Junior Member
Hello all. Having crushing doubts here about current situation. Firstly it is not my main moneymaker...we have gigged quite a bit as in twice a month. It is more then a hobby but less the a job. Just seem to be at tuning point for me. We do covers and I do not write music but I can do my drum parts and lyrics. Was told that " No one wants to listen Originals" hence no progress. Now seems we are in the cycle of play, record material,listen to it back, search for shows and contacts twice a week with very few exceptions the same material as we have done before.. I am personally messing up little bits and it does bother me as I don't seem to be into it. I have tried to be professional and realize that sometimes rehearsal is not for you but someone else working our things. I invite impressions. When is it time to leave a band? Maybe others have had similar situations? The decision does rest with me.


cheers
 
If it doesn't feel right, get out before you're forced to.

I played with a singer songwriter back in '95. Her music had some potential,but not enough, like a lot of other stuff out there. She wanted to keep it as a 3 pc band - her playing guitar and singing, the bass player and me. It lacked a lot of fullness, and to me it was boring playing the same droning stuff over and over again.

I felt it it wasn't good enough to go anywhere. She finally got another guitar player, and he and I didn't get along from the get go. Perhaps he could sense I didn't like what I was doing. They were trying to do a showcase in New York City, and at that point from all the practice and playing out, my wrists were hurting and I needed to take a break and couldn't make it.

I received a phone call stating I was no longer needed, and though I was a little pissed off at the way it was handled in telling me, they did me a favor. I was starting to resent what I was doing, and the new guitar player told me I sucked. The funny thing was that I could play guitar as well as him, so it was a little ironic.

A few years later, I got into a band that I enjoyed with guys around the same age. We played covers and originals as well. It was a totally different feeling, enjoyable and fun. I stopped playing about 10 years ago, and have played the keyboards since then, but now I have the fire to drum again now that I have an E kit.

Probably didn't need to get long winded here - you probably already know you want to get out. Make a change before its forced on you - you'll feel better about it.

And as for the singer songwriter, we had recorded an album in the studio, again back in '95, and when I google her on the computer, I get songs from that album, so she hasn't done jacksh%$ in almost 15 years. Hey, what did I know - well I know what I was doing sucked, so probably got that comment as a result. If it's not enjoyable, it's not worth doing.

Fishnmusicn

http://www.myspace.com/fishnmusicn
 
When you feel stagnant and overcome with monotony. You must leave and move on to the next thing...Good luck, mate.
 
I have alway's told myself when it's Not Fun anymore
it's time to leave....but, being that particular band is just
doing copies...find a 2nd group that will do originals or part
originals..this way you won't get bummed or bored.
When the copy/cover band finds a live gig = great....
then go rehearse with the original band & write some tunes!!!
I know some drummers who play in 3 bands.... this way
it keeps them Happy & Busy...


Best,
 
When is it time to leave a band?

The answer is simple, it is when marginal cost exceeds marginal benefit.

In other words, when you lose more than you gain by playing in the band.

It sounds like you arent even having fun, and if it isnt much of a money maker, and that is an issue, then you should quit, and make more money.
 
Sometimes I cure myself. Thanks for all the input so far. it has been a help. The moneymaking thing to me and us is not an issue as we all have good well paying work outside music. It was something we agreed on at the beginning. I am having fun just not as much as before. Sometimes one needs to step back a bit, look at the overall picture and get motivated differently. I do that by simply watching some dvd's Like Chad Smith's Eastern Rim or anything by The Who. Perhaps I iwll look for an opportunity in addition to what I am doing now to find a bunch of people and write. These are all options.
 
Hello all. Having crushing doubts here about current situation. Firstly it is not my main moneymaker...we have gigged quite a bit as in twice a month. It is more then a hobby but less the a job. Just seem to be at tuning point for me. We do covers and I do not write music but I can do my drum parts and lyrics. Was told that " No one wants to listen Originals" hence no progress. Now seems we are in the cycle of play, record material,listen to it back, search for shows and contacts twice a week with very few exceptions the same material as we have done before.. I am personally messing up little bits and it does bother me as I don't seem to be into it. I have tried to be professional and realize that sometimes rehearsal is not for you but someone else working our things. I invite impressions. When is it time to leave a band? Maybe others have had similar situations? The decision does rest with me.


cheers
The time is when the factors that made you JOIN the band have disappeared or diminished to the point that it's not worth your time and effort.

If you joined for FUN, and the fun is gone, it's time to go.
If you joined for good money, and the good money is gone, it's time to go.
If you joined for friendship and your friends are gone, it's time to go
If you joined for high profile gigs, and the high profile gigs are gone, it's time to go.
If you joined to play a great list of songs, and the songs are no longer being played, it's time to go.

I think you get the gist.
 
The time is when the factors that made you JOIN the band have disappeared or diminished to the point that it's not worth your time and effort.

If you joined for FUN, and the fun is gone, it's time to go.
If you joined for good money, and the good money is gone, it's time to go.
If you joined for friendship and your friends are gone, it's time to go
If you joined for high profile gigs, and the high profile gigs are gone, it's time to go.
If you joined to play a great list of songs, and the songs are no longer being played, it's time to go.

I think you get the gist.

We have a winner!

I second this approach unless you have changed your priorities or if you're doing it as a professional. In the latter case, there are times that you need to hang onto a gig even though it's not entirely your cup of tea. That said, it sounds like you've had it with this group, though. Those two gigs a month (plus rehearsals) could be with a project that really excites you. Whether for love or money, there should be a good reason that you pack up the car and lug your gear into another club. If you can't find that reason, then it's time to go.
 
My first impression is go with your gut, and your gut seems to be saying it's time to make a graceful exit.

A side note. You said that rehearsals are dull because you have to sit there and scratch yourself while the others work out their chorcds and keys and basically learn the song. There are two fi xes for that: either people show up knowing the song (imagine that, what a concept) or split up the rehearsals. The one where they argue about chords is the one you don't go to. You nail down that song at home instead, and when you all come together at the next rehearsal you're actually working on things that are worthy of bringing everyone together.
 
I've seen this question asked on women's magazines - just replace "band" with "relationship".

You have a few major factors to consider: whether it's meeting your needs, whether you have created something good that would take a lot of effort to rebuild, whether there are viable replacements out there, whether you owe any debt (financial or otherwise). You also need to consider whether the problems are a phase or the sign of a trend.

Finally, ask yourself - do I love the other members? :)
 
We have a winner!

I second this approach unless you have changed your priorities or if you're doing it as a professional. In the latter case, there are times that you need to hang onto a gig even though it's not entirely your cup of tea. That said, it sounds like you've had it with this group, though. Those two gigs a month (plus rehearsals) could be with a project that really excites you. Whether for love or money, there should be a good reason that you pack up the car and lug your gear into another club. If you can't find that reason, then it's time to go.
Yeah, exactly, if there was WHATEVER reason that made the band float yer boat, and that reason is gone, or maybe just not doing it for you anymore, it's time to go.

I couldn't see myself doing all the manual labor that's involved in drugging a set of drums around when there was no love for SOMETHING in the band to make me wanna do the gig.

Sometimes, it hard doing a gig for JUST the money, but you GOTTA make money, though I've done FUN gigs for little or NO money and it was worth it.
 
Thanks for all the impressions. Yes bands are like relationships. Not all fun all the time. We have invested a lot of time in each other sometimes you hit plateaus. Decided it is a phase so will stick with current situation for more time and keep ears open for to other things if any. Test the waters with no harm and stretch myself with writing music if I can.. For the band I will shake of the cobwebs take a break of a canceled rehearsal..attack my fundementals again, get better myself. More importantly remember why I enjoy drums and the band. The sheer fun and joy of playing and the dough doesn't hurt either.

Drummer heal thyself.
 
The time is when the factors that made you JOIN the band have disappeared or diminished to the point that it's not worth your time and effort.

If you joined for FUN, and the fun is gone, it's time to go.
If you joined for good money, and the good money is gone, it's time to go.
If you joined for friendship and your friends are gone, it's time to go
If you joined for high profile gigs, and the high profile gigs are gone, it's time to go.
If you joined to play a great list of songs, and the songs are no longer being played, it's time to go.

I think you get the gist.

Couldn't have said it better.

Considering your situation, it's time to leave.
 
Just to push the analogy a bit :)
If you got together for sex, and the sex has gone off, it's time to go.
If you got together for money, and the money is gone, it's time to go.
If you got together for friendship and your friendship is gone, it's time to go
If you got together for status, and the trophy wife has gone to seed or the rich husband has gone bust, it's time to go.
If you got together for lurrrrve, and the lurrrve is gone, it's time to go.

But you'd like to think you could have all of those things in relationship or the equivalent goodies in a band.

Or maybe men tend to compartmentalise a bit more?
 
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