I saw a band today where the drummer had his toms nearly horizontal. He had clear batter and resonant heads, and I realized that I could actually see him through the toms from my seat in front of the stage!
He must have bought his drums from the Seattle Craigslist....
1) Oh, Starcaster... poor, begotten Starcaster... will you *ever* have an owner with a clue?
2) Sticks conveniently placed for a quick grab... under the cymbal stand. Also, ad says it comes with not just a cowbell, but "a cattle bell"... I think I'll just stop there.
3) RPT50, you were saying?
4) I see a lot of these ads with the snare placed to the left of the hi-hat. Is what we do really that arcane and mysterious?
5) Please, I beg you... free us. Take us home. Set us up correctly. For the first time.
6) This ad boasts that these are "a great vintage Royce drum kit, purchased last year from an instructor".... how much did he charge ya there, buddy?
7) It's pronounced "soon-lee-tay"... it's a boutique brand.
8) Actually 97% unplayable. AND pink.
9) Pronounced "pull-say". I think they make them out of unicorn horn shavings.
10) Rockwood. It's two lies in one, if you think about it.
11) Bad, naughty tom heads. Must dent them ten thousand times. Bad, naughty tom heads. Must dent them ten thousand times.
12) You may pay a couple grand on a studio-quality kit. You still might need to actually pay some attention to basic ergonomics when you put it together. Or don't.
13) Antique stores are creepy.
14) Sir, please box up your Gretsch drums and return them to where you got them. When they ask you why you are returning them, tell them Drummerworld Tom Angles said you were too dumb to play a Gretsch drum kit, and do they have any Soon-Lee-Tay drums instead?
15) This set looks like it's going to go cartwheeling to the left any moment.
16) Double rims. It's the new thing. Gadd has them, I think Vinnie's getting his soon. Why don't *you* have double rims? Loser.
17) This person has no actual idea what drums do.
18) RPT50, they're playing your song.
19) Hiding from the Daleks behind the couch.
20) Ergonomics? What's that?
21) Dead dog sold separately.
22) Still Life with Tom Angles.