Here's a fool proof method to get you started, begining with your floor tom and work your way up to the smaller drms from there.
Begin with all tension rods finger tight, the drum sitting on a firm surface.
Press in the center of the head with your middle finger, notice the wrinkles in the head.
Star with one tension rod and tighten just until the wrinkles by it go away.
Work your way around the drum and tighten each rod until the wrinkles by each rod go away.
Press firmly in the center of the head with the heel of your palm, leaning into it with your weight to seat the head.
Repeat the process above, pressing in the center of the head with your middle finger and tighten each rod till the wrinkles at each point go away.
Turn the drum over and do the exact same thing on the other side.
Do each floor tom and tom the same way. You'll find that your drums sing and the pitch intervals are nearly perfect, and the pitch at each tuning point is very close.
Now you can fine tune by sitting the drum on your throne, tap with your finger at each lug and bring the lower pitches up to match the highest pitch.
After you've done this, you can experiment with raising the pitch of the bottom head a bit, or leave them both the same pitch.
This same method will also work on your bass drum.
The snare, start with each tension rod finger tight. Turn each rod a 1/4 turn and work your way around the drum until you have about the pitch you want.
Now, set it on your throne and even the pitches at each point.
Tension the snares so that when you barly play the drum out at the edge the snares respond, but when you smack it hard in the center they don't continue to rattle.
Get this method down, it's really easy to do, and then you can start experimenting with pitch intervals,etc.