Have you ever quit a band that you wanted to rejoin later?

petey

Member
I quit a heavy rock project because of a difference in musical direction about 4 months ago. They also were not very productive and a little lazy, not taking it seriously. Plus, I had a desire to go a different musical direction at the time and try some different jazz stuff with my free time. I just wasn't feeling like 'rocking' and wanted to tone it down.

NOW four months later, they seem totally on the ball, a lot more pro about things and are doing some stuff I heard recently that I really like, really well written. I found out they are still without a drummer, have been using subs for recording.

I'm glad I left when i did because it allowed me to work with some really talented jazz dudes for a few months while that project lasted. I learned a lot and had a blast with it. But now i'm ready to rock again LOL -- just don't know how to ask for my old job back.
 
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Did you leave on bad terms? Do you still talk to anyone in the band where you could sort of see if they want you back? Maybe you can just ask to jam and then if it goes well you can bring up the subject of you coming back. It's a delicate issue but one I wouldn't sit on too long. It will hurt more if one of their subs become permanent and you miss the opportunity to be a part of something good.
 
Keep it short and simple.

You say:

"'Dude! Your new stuff sounds GREAT!. If you ever need a drummer I'd be really happy to play with you again"
 
If they are friends of yours, get together for coffee (or whatever) somewhere like Starbucks. Sit around catching up and ask how everything's going. Tell them you would love to sit in and jam. Take it from there.
 
4 months is a pretty short time... I'd be worried that things wouldn't be much different.

Maybe when you left it was a bit of a wake up call for them.. or maybe they were actually going okay before you left but you just saw things in a bad light.

Sounds like you left on good enough terms, maybe you should just dip your toe in and go hang out with someone from that band.
 
Many many moons ago I was playing in a blues based rock band that was along the lines of the harder edge bands of late 80's. We had a small falling out because, well, everyone in the band was related except me. So I quit to pursue other ventures.

Later I joined a band that played things along the lines of King's X, Queensryche, Marillion, and more along that ilk. They raised my playing to a whole other level.

A few months later the blues based band asked me to come back....saying they changed.

I thought long and hard about it. And it was one of the hardest decisions of my life. But I thought I would get more girls with the first band so I quit the second band to go back with the first. The band hadn't changed at all.

I chalked it up to one of the worst mistakes I ever made. But I can't live in the past so here I am.
 
Yeah, those bands that matter will always come back around. It's like gravity. We make our orbits and get "out there" then come back. With any luck you'll develop a musical relationship that sees you play with the same clusters of folks over time.

And gravity is not to be confused with magnetism. Totally different concept. :D
 
Thanks All.

This is all new to me in my older years :)

I've always been the drummer that joined a band and stuck with it until the demise and never really did a lot of outside things or sat in here & there. To play with these guys or those guys or this project or that project is a lot of fun and rewarding but balancing all of them and deciding which to join, which to take a risk on or which one to sacrifice is a chore.
 
quick boring story that no one will read

some years ago I played in a band called All Parallels made up of guys that I basically grew up with.... a three piece "power trio" as they say.
we had a decent record deal some pretty decent success in the north east USA
we put out some records and did a bunch of tours ..... but about 8 years into sleeping on the van floor I began to get fed up as our label was beginning to "back burner" us

I got offered the drum chair for a band called Agents of Man .... who had recently signed with Century Media... was a front burner band and getting tons of support from their label and getting opening slots for national acts year round.

I made the decision to leave my boys and take the gig.

we did one tour of the US and the band imploded .... lots of internal drama that I was not aware of.
the bass player who was a complete asshole left the band to join Sworn Enemy and the singer quit to get a "real job"

but we were contractually obligated to do this tour of Europe that had been scheduled for months .

so we did the tour and it was probably the worst 2 months of my life ..... as you can imagine touring with a broken up band does not make for amazing stage, hotel, or bus chemistry .

after returning from Europe I found my old band with my replacement touring.... I was getting emails about how they were not the same ... I was kind of heart broken ....first that I hurt them the way I did and second because I made a bad decision and they moved on without me

I did a few more ok gigs in that time.... I did Warped Tour '06 with a band called Danny Diablo ... and all I could think of while on stage every day in the 98 degree weather was that I wish that was my boys out in front of me and not these knuckle heads

long story even longer.....

they eventually asked me back.... and I was so excited.... reborn even!!

we got back and started rehearsing and something was missing

it was like I had tainted something that we could not rekindle ... I feel guilty to this day for really pulling the wind from the sails and not sticking it out with my family

we put out one more record and did one tour and called it quits in 2009

it burns me to this day that I did that to them

but we left some good music out there and some good music videos that I am very proud of

so... along winded way to say yes to the OP
 
it was like I had tainted something that we could not rekindle ... I feel guilty to this day for really pulling the wind from the sails and not sticking it out with my family

You can never look back and wonder "what if". You get up every day and make decisions that are based on the information you have at hand. Afterwards, over a great Scotch or Cognac, you can reminisce over what is, what was and what might have been - but you can never go back and never change what has happened. You simply ... move on. You made the wisest choice you could in the moment.
 
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You can never look back and wonder "what if". You get up every day and make decisions that are based on the information you have at hand. Afterwards, over a great Scotch or Cognac, you can remeniss over what is, what was and what might have been - but you can never go back and never change what has happened. You simply ... move on. You made the wisest choice you could in the moment.

true and kind words ... I appreciate that
 
so... along winded way to say yes to the OP

That is a crazy story, WhoIsTony.. Thanks for sharing. Sad for sure, I hope you find peace with it inside someday... I have to say, I felt really bad leaving as well and I had an amazing jazz experience as a result and some new jazz musician connections that may call me down the road.... But I still felt bad after I left because we we're (still are in a way) longtime friends and were building something together. Some of us just lost the fire we started with (not I) and I didn't feel my time and effort was worth spending on it and wanted to see something else out. In some ways though, I feel like my leaving 'woke them up' and forced them to get serious about it - and I only say that because I feel I was the biggest flag waver in the group, always wanting us to do something, showing up on time, working on the songs on my own time to come prepared, etc.

I think I may call the Lead Singer and talk it out with her this weekend.
 
Holy **** I cannot imagine touring another continent with a band that's broken up and isn't getting along. Mind boggling. All that is tough enough when everyone is tight friends.
 
Holy **** I cannot imagine touring another continent with a band that's broken up and isn't getting along. Mind boggling. All that is tough enough when everyone is tight friends.

it was horrible doc

no ones heart was in it for a second.
everyone had emotionally checked out.
they were fighting with each other constantly.
the bass player was a thug who I cannot stand to this day and ended up getting in more than one physical altercation with promoters and fans .
on more than one occasion I was shopping for an early plane ticket home but ended up fulfilling my obligation.
Century Media was not aware of anything going on and the band did not want them in the loop so when label reps would come out to a gig everyone would pretend things were great.

it was such an odd situation

they ended being in pretty serious debt to Century Media and actually still do the occasional "reunion" gig to help pay it back and continue to be in that debt

I got a call about 3 weeks ago asking me to play one of these "reunion" shows.... I quickly and gracefully declined
 
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