Ain't that the truth. It's so much easier to play with musicians who are aware of timing, consciously, rather than just thinking they're good enough to fit in. Any group I've played with in the past 25-odd years (orchestras, chamber groups, jazz ensembles, rumba groups, bands, whatever) has always benefitted from musicians who keep their own timing and act as a unit, especially if the ship is starting to sink due to sound, acoustical, or technical challenges.
IMHO, every musician should spend a portion of each practice session improving their timing skills, and modern metronome apps make this easier by allowing a percentage of beats to drop randomly.
The reality is tho, at levels other than professional, most musicians struggle with time.
Someone mentioned "Dave DiCenso or Vinnie Colaiuta 'take it out' in some wild fill"... yeah they do, but the musicians they're playing with (are most likely) proficient at keeping time, as in- they're pros.
OK, here is a question for you.
Can anybody learn to keep time well enough to be a good time keeping drummer ?
When I say "anybody" I mean everybody and anybody.
Or are some people unable to learn how to keep time.
Its clear 'some people' are more sensitive than others, meaning those more sensitive could be more susceptible to being influenced by another, and even go as far to say 'at risk' of being influenced.
Example: So Im a drummer, with what I believe to be good time and Im playing a song with the band and we're grooving along and we hit the chorus and all of a sudden the bass player gets excited and starts rushing the time/groove. Is being able to hold steady time going to change the way the bass player plays? Does my role automatically change from 'musician' in the band to 'babysitter'?
Its not the drummers responsibility to keep time for anyone. If the bass player (guitar, whoever) rushes, or is all over the place, its not the drummers fault, that bass player is then a musician who struggles with time.
If a guitar player is soloing and is counting on the drummer (or anyone else) to bring them in on the one, that guitar player then is a musician who struggles with time. So echoing the previous posts, it 'is' every musicians responsibility to keep time, their own time.
If one being a 'sensitive musician' feels the need to 'go with' those who struggle implying that's what needs to be done to keep the band sounding good/cohesive, there's your grey area. Bend, or not to bend? If the drummer bends too much, they'll then get blamed for not keeping the time in check. If they don't bend at all, they will get complimented for being solid, keeping good time.
When Im at the kit with a suspect band/musicians its all about me first, Im listening to myself 'first', the most. I listen to the other musicians out of the 'side of my ear' so to speak... Im listening to them, but Im not listening to them over myself, Im listening to how they play with me myself and I, never do I play babysitter, that's a role that will come back to burn you.
If you're lucky enough to be sensitive, you're naturally inclined to pick up signs (usually a vibe/feel) about who feels where the time is. The song for example if started too slow needs to be bumped up a little, or if too fast needs to slow down will get attention of other band mates, they'll communicate the need, this is a collective transmission, if someone's not tuned in, not on the bands frequency its going to be a long night/gig and probably no fun.
There's two frequencies being transmitted by each band member onstage, one is the bands collective frequency, the frequency used to transmit what's best for the group as a whole/band. The other is the ego frequency and generally used to transmit what's good for the transmitting musician. The two can overlap, but when one is using the ego freq more than the collective freq, static is soon to follow.
Being sensitive could be seen as a gift, being overly sensitive could be seen as a curse. Being insensitive is seen as unprofessional. If you're not particularly gifted, one 'can' develop ones awareness capabilities, enough so to get by/succeed, its called being professional.
I tell my students that their most important job as a drummer is to keep time.
To students I like to pose it as a question; Is it more important to be in time, or on time? gets them thinking about both instances.