Getting "yelled" at onstage

I agree with the masses here. I make as many flubbers as any of my fellow band members and when we do its always addressed with a smile and a wink. Most of the time no one knows but us in the band. We are having fun and that's the bottom line.

I vote for cordially and calmly talking to the band mate about this.

Oh man Pete that would totally rattle this guy. He's kinda quirky, and I've never ever once said anything bad about his playing or his share of mistakes, or how he totally doesn't play what I want to hear on the songs I sing...It would do zero good. I wanna release any tension not add to it. I hate to stereotype but hey if the shoe fits...he's a fragile ego'd guitar player who needs to be respected at all times. The only way I can get a message through to him is from a position of total respect for him, which I have to fabricate to a certain extent.

Shoot, in my last band we used to LAUGH if something screwed up onstage. We were very good friends and with all the work we were all putting into the project, nobody thought that anyone else was being lazy or not doing their best. Sounds like this guy has ego and trust issues.

I'm usually a 'to-the-face' sort of guy, even though I hate conflict. The thing is, emails can be ignored, but usually if you stand your ground and voice your opinion, away from the stage and everyone else, the offending party will back right down.

I get that on stage it probably shouldn't be displayed, but I'm sure everyone is aware of the audio recording of Paul Anka and Buddy Rich chewing out their bands. In fact, I think Buddy fired his entire band one night (whether or not they brought in a whole new band the next day for the concert, I don't know)!

And didn't Miles Davis and Ray Charles just fire guys on the bandstand?

My take would be to discuss the situation with the band. At least you can discuss it and try to resolve it. Some of the gigs I've done, I've not worried about getting yelled at, but being asked not to come back!

OK so another face time vote.
I don't see him, other than at gigs lately.
I can't see making a whole trip to see him over something as trivial as this.
If we don't rehearse before the next gig, perhaps after the gig would be the best time.

+1 for "totally unprofessional". Two ways to deal with it:

1. Have a talk about it. But, if they don't come around...

2. Dish it back! Listen for the perpetrator to make mistakes and "Aw, c'mon man" them back. Even when it's not a huge mistake, just let your displeasure be publicly known about THEIR playing so they can see how it feels/looks. Also, prepare for a fight afterwards!

There is a 3rd choice, just keep absorbing it, crappy option but an option nonetheless. I think a talk will do the job, he's not an unreasonable guy. As long as I preface my talk with a healthy amount of humility and respect for him it should go well. There is no way I could do that to any person onstage, regardless if they did it to me. It just wouldn't feel right because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end.

My signature on another forum reads: There are no such things as wrong notes, there's only the look on your face". I got this from jazz vibist Greggory Hutchinson. And I suspect it is derivative of a story Polly related about Milt Jackson (I think) saying something to the effect that they only hear the good notes.

Most of all, calling attention to a mistake is unprofessional in the upmost. Making the mistake is bad enough, reinforcing the mistake by calling attention to it only further degrades the audiences experience of the performance. Reminding them of the mistake that they may have not even noticed, or at least making the mistake the most memorable part of the performance.

Not how any band should want to be thought of or remembered as.

Even evil eyes are unprofessional. As is everyone suddenly spinning their heads around to look at the offender, even if they are smiling. Subtle eye contact from a couple of people is more that sufficient to say "I heard that, we'll talk about it later".

Then it is up to the professionalism of both folks to discuss it reasonably. "Opps, I'm sorry I blew that intro, I was thinking of the next song and got ahead of myself." Or; "Hey, remember we have the break after the second verse. We'll go over it next rehearsal if you feel you need to."

Something often lost at the mid levels is that you are there for the audience, the ones paying the bills, not yourselves. While a bandleader or front person might feel that mistakes on stage reflect badly on them, they need to realize that any sort of reminder to the audience that the performance was less than stellar only reflects on them worse.

I'd approach it on this level. Not make it an issue between two people. Rather a suggestion to raise the professional appearance of the whole band. Down to the sudden glares. You don't even have to get into the level of someone scolding another in the middle of a set. If folks can agree to stop the sudden looks and smile though it for the audience as if it didn't happen, the intruptions and scoldings go without saying.

Great sig line Aeolin, so true too...
It is about the audience, I so get that. I should have been a front person. The majority of people I play with are CLUELESS about the audience's experience, they can only see things from their eyes..
Like I said, this guy is not an ogre, he's reasonable if approached reasonably. I have a ton of patience and plenty of humility if it serves me well and well I have to fake a little respect for him because I don't really have a whole lot for him, especially as a musician.
But I can do that for the improvement of our show, no big deal.
Plus it's good practice for me to handle this in an adult manner, confrontations are something I usually try to avoid, but admittedly, that is not a good tactic for handling things. This is a great opportunity to hone some social skills.

Tact: The ability to tell someone to go to Hell, in such a way, that they actually look forward to the trip!

larryace said:

Tact: The ability to tell someone to go to Hell, in such a way, that they actually look forward to the trip!

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As a little sidenote, I mandate that the official DW signal for making a mistake is "Aw, c'mon man."

Say, if I'm playing through Ballroom Blitz and screwed up the constant rolls, I made an "Aw, c'mon man".

Anyway! Larry, whatever you do, do not try to give him a taste of his own medicine. That's a last resort.

...And don't just take either. That's stupid.

Even better, get together with the bassist and that ex-saxophone player and find a new guitarist!

Total agreement Steelie, no taste of one's own medicine, that would make me a hypocrite....I like your 'even better' option, but in the meantime, I'll just do the right thing and try to convince him how many different levels of wrong that is. We need a guitarist who can sing for the other project to work. We lack awesome voices, all of us.

I respect your attitude Larry. Being humble and show respect always beats arrogance and tantrums. If I may though Larry, and I hope I'm not out of line here, but while being humble one doesn't have to be a doormat at the same time. The two are not synonymos.

Ya - that's not good.
I would tell them - in a nice way - straight outright - it's unprofessional - it's not doing the band any good and you don't like it - period.

Most of the time these things can be worked out if everyone is up-front & open about it. Sometimes thought - it's just personality differences and it can be difficult to make it right.

I don't know - maybe If it does go downhill and it doesn't stop you could try laughing it off - turning it around on the person criticising...It's hard for me to say not knowing the total history or being there.

You're completely right about this. Bottom line.....no one likes that kind of childish criticism & it does nothing for the band or your working realtionship with them.

I hope things get better for you. Let us know the outcome.

Cheers,

If it were me I'd just give them the finger. I'm sure the twat would bring it up after the gig, at which time I'd recite a mental list of every time he/she screwed up.

If it were me, it'd be an issue for discussion at our very next rehearsal. I wouldn't get heated about it, but he'd be under no illusions that it looked like amatuer hour up there.

Unless the whole band stops or someone is outta time or off key for an entire song......punters just don't notice mistakes.....certainly not small ones. Why highlight it to them? Is the point I'd be driving home.

I saw The Eagles last year and Joe Walsh was clearly annoyed at something the drummer wasn't doing, I noticed it just one time.... Not Don Henley, they had a different guy on a different kit for the first few songs. That confused me, I was like "where's Don?"

But Joe did it. I saw it. The guy didn't screw up he just didn't do what Joe wanted to hear, that's the impression I got. I felt bad for the drummer, in front of THOUSANDS of people he gets chastized. Wrong time for that, but I don't know what really went on in that exchange, only what I thought I saw. The point is, it comes down to simple social graces, you just don't highlight some elses error.

James, I predicted you would respond like that ha ha you animal.

Larry, I would bring this up at the next rehearsal as a band issue. There are probably others in the band that find it equally distasteful to be called out on stage or see it happen. In my band, if a song train-wrecks more than once it usually gets dropped. The occasional mistake is going to happen even at the pro level sometimes even making it onto recordings. I'm also guessing the guy doing all the yelling isn't having to worry about four way coordination.

Concrete Pete said:

Sounds like he's got other problems, and he's "projecting" them at you.

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Oh I love it! Another Dr. Phil moment. Yeh, he's probably projecting his own anger management issues and insecurities onto you, the unsuspecting drummer victim. He's likely a schizoid co-dependent enabler with delusions of granduer and perhaps even a substance abuse problem. At the very least, he is clearly a closet pedophile with gender idenity confusion, penis envy and in love with his own mother (a classic case of Odeipus Complex). I Ifeel bad for him.

Oh, and Larry, if you're looking for someone to back you up on the whole email thing,that would be me. I know I'm a wuss that way as I also hate conflict, will avoid it at every turn and have a tendency to lose my resolve during face to face confrontations. However, I'm working on that!

Just one mans opinion here, but with respect to the whole email thing, I don't really get it. Has technology made us that weak that we can't speak face to face anymore?

If I recieved an email highlighting my shortcomings from a fellow band member, I wouldn't respond to it until I saw him face to face at rehearsal anyway. Issues can't be resolved via email IMO......look at all the 'flare ups' on the forum that are caused by misunderstandings of the written word. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but if humanly possible, I'd rather resolve disputes by looking them in the eye over a beer.