Unemployment panic

Eric

Senior Member
Hello, Forum. It's been a very long time since I posted here, but I'm having a really bad week and could use the support. I just recieved a month notice that I'm being fired by the singer I've been working for for a long time . I should note this is not a small gig. I don't want to give away too many details, but she's on a major label, tours Europe/North America a few times per year, has a well paying off night steady gig when in town and has provided about one half-two thirds of my income for a long time. In short it's one of the few gigs in town that actually means the difference between being a full-time musician and part-time. I'm pretty freaked out about my future, since I'm already in my 40s and have been doing nothing but play gigs for a really long time. I won't be totally without work-I have a mix of weddings and some nice jazz gigs on the books-but it's nothing close to a living. My situation is complicated by the fact that I have a two-year old son I watch during the day. (My wife has a decent day job, thank goodness.) I plan on starting by hitting the clubs and contacting music schools for students, but I'm concerned because my peers have had a really hard time finding work themselves. I know I'm not the first person to go through this, so I could use some advice. Thanks for letting me bend your ear, I just need to get this off my chest.
 
Hello, Forum. It's been a very long time since I posted here, but I'm having a really bad week and could use the support. I just recieved a month notice that I'm being fired by the singer I've been working for for a long time . I should note this is not a small gig. I don't want to give away too many details, but she's on a major label, tours Europe/North America a few times per year, has a well paying off night steady gig when in town and has provided about one half-two thirds of my income for a long time. In short it's one of the few gigs in town that actually means the difference between being a full-time musician and part-time. I'm pretty freaked out about my future, since I'm already in my 40s and have been doing nothing but play gigs for a really long time. I won't be totally without work-I have a mix of weddings and some nice jazz gigs on the books-but it's nothing close to a living. My situation is complicated by the fact that I have a two-year old son I watch during the day. (My wife has a decent day job, thank goodness.) I plan on starting by hitting the clubs and contacting music schools for students, but I'm concerned because my peers have had a really hard time finding work themselves. I know I'm not the first person to go through this, so I could use some advice. Thanks for letting me bend your ear, I just need to get this off my chest.
Sounds like the real world Eric. And I'm not trying to sound glib or anything but the rest of us that don't have the good fortune to have worked as a full time musician 'till the age of 40 have been laid off too. We've all been forced to make adjustments.

It's the "all your eggs in one basket" syndrome. The singer you mentioned was a lot of your income in the one basket, it might take time, or it may NEVER happen that this good fortune comes your way again. It's the same thing when you make your living at a day job and get laid off, your major source of income is gone, and for US that's usually MORE than 2/3rds of OUR income, usually it's more like 9/10ths!!

We're all hit by the bad times around us. I've been out of work since LAST July 3rd!! Though your firing most likely wasn't due to the economy, it has the same effect.
 
Sorry to hear it man.

I don't really have any advice beyond what you're already doing: just put the word out to everybody you know that you're available and looking for gigs.

And I don't really know you or why the singer decided to cut you loose now, but having been with her for so long - a lot of other musicians should know that you had that gig and maybe they were interested in playing with you but wouldn't approach you while you were still 'attached'. It may be hard to see it now - but this could turn into an opportunity to break some new ground.

Stay positive, be thankful for having a working spouse, and hang in there - good luck!
 
40's is young man, you have a lot of time in front of you...I went through a similar experience 21 years ago, 3 little kids, just moved the family to another state and was laid off after 11 months at a new job. No job, an area I was unfamilar with, thankfully my wife is a nurse and was able to get a job quickly.

I did ANYTHING and everthing I could for around a year before I found a new job...loaded trucks, worked at a farm supply store, did a little consulting where I could...

I'm into my "new" career now 20 years and truly appreciate the irony that I would not be doing what I am today (which I really enjoy) had I not had that moment of "bad luck".

Call it karma, fate, the grace of God, whatever...keep plugging away and you'll get by.

Enjoy the time with your son while you can...being a "stay at home dad" has it's own rewards...at least for a time.
 
When I get worried about this kind of stuff, I always say to myself...

Things have always worked out for me in the past, and they will continue to work out for me in the future.
I don't know why but this always helps to calm my fears.

Then there's the cliches

When one door closes another opens
It's always darkest before the dawn
Every dark cloud has a silver lining

You tend to attract that what you fear, and whatever is in your head will manifest itself, so think good thoughts, along the lines of "desired outcomes".
I know it's real easy for me to say all this, but really I feel for ya man. Life can get worrisome at times. Just remember that this was meant to be, because it actually happened. Time to shift gears.
Ever consider teaching?
 
I have been an automotive repair tech as my primary job for 39 years. In the late 1970s times were hard for the car dealers and they were closing. I found myself without a job or the prospect of a job. I lived on the street for a while until I found a job. I lost 20 lbs! I was to proud to go home. I eventually found a job and I started from scratch again. I got through the bad times then, and I'll get through the bad times now! I am more fortunate this time. I work for an independent repair facility and not a new car dealer. I have less work but I work every day. Still, I have lost over a hundred thousand dollars in my 401k and the markets. I never cry! If you go to my bobdadruma Myspace page from the link below you will see a song by Diana Krall called Pick Yourself Up. I put that song there to remind me that no matter what happens, I will prevail! I'm 52 now and I will make all that money that I lost back plus more when conditions improve! That goal keeps me going! My parents grew up during the Great Depression and The Second World War and they made it! We will make it too. You can't hinder the human sprit! My wife is driving a 98 Chevy Tahoe with 390,000 miles on it. I make sure that it runs like new. I have been hunting deer and freezing it to assist with the food budget. Some of it legal, some of it not! (Poaching out of season) I am growing my own vegetables! I take every gig that I can and a I do a lot of side jobs on cars. There is always something that you can do!
 
Cool, thank you for all your posts, I'm starting to feel a little better. I've been thinking of all the different things I'm NOT going to miss about the gig and that makes it easier. The ironic thing is that I started working on finding alternate income well before this and it may have contributed to me getting fired. I have been feverishly studying web design whenever I can find a few minutes (usually my son's naps and on breaks of gigs) so I can eventually design sites for extra cash. It really seemed to wig out my boss that I was quietly reading a book instead of wasting time on tour. I don't know if she felt threatened or that I didn't take the gig seriously or what. (I should mention she's kind of nuts) I had some great times though- playing European concert halls, playing some big festivals. I might not ever do that again, but I do know one thing for absolutely sure. It is WAY better to play great music that means a lot to you than to play those places. I'm pretty confident the music I'm about to play is going to (occasionally) be better than what I was doing before, and that excites me.
 
...

Well Eric, it seems like you've got a whole lot of good sense about you, with you heart and your priorities in the right place.
I think most people struggle through life's challenges without any of those qualities.

The way you are going about it, I'm sure you find your groove sooner rather than later. Your'e also in your 40s, a place I've been as well. Every guy thats ever been there questions a whole bunch of stuff about himself.

Your situation is making you reflect, which is always a good thing IMO, and looking at the future is scary simply because everyone fears the unknown.

Your gig for all that it was , wasn't really satisfying your inner musical core, and something made you explore an alternative career.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with a web designer who also has a happy comfortable family life, and plays the music HE loves on weekends.

good luck.

...
 
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I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but contacting churches would be a good idea. A lot of people don't think of churches as places that HIRE musicians. My drum teacher isn't a Christian, but he gets paid to play in churches occasionally. You might even get free doughnuts! (Doughnuts are popular in churches)
 
Actually, drummerchick, there is a church that I have subbed at occasionally, and yes they did have doughnuts. Come to think of it, they haven't called me for a while, so maybe I ate a few too many. oh well. thanks for the support, Aydee.
 
I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but contacting churches would be a good idea. A lot of people don't think of churches as places that HIRE musicians. My drum teacher isn't a Christian, but he gets paid to play in churches occasionally. You might even get free doughnuts! (Doughnuts are popular in churches)

haahaha doughnuts XD
WOW.

And to think I play at church for free and NO doughnuts :/
 
Maybe it's a very specific denomination. The United Doughnut Church or something.
 
That stinks man, But all the advice here is good, especially the free doughnuts, lol.

My wife lost her job yesterday, But is working out for the best as she just got accepted to School to get her degree as a pharmacist. So it's actually a blessing in disguise.

I just found out yesterday that one of my guys is seriously undermining me with the Hotel's owner, Now overnight (After 20 years here) all of my managerial skills and maintenance techniques are in question..... So I may be in the same unemployment boat next week................. Sheeeesh,

But it'll all work out man, Sounds like you have a grip on things.
 
haahaha doughnuts XD
WOW.

And to think I play at church for free and NO doughnuts :/

What kind of non-sense church do you go to?? No doughnuts. Pish posh. MY church has Krispy Kreme doughnuts every Sunday morning.

Maybe it's a very specific denomination. The United Doughnut Church or something.

The Order of the Ring...

There actually used to be this Christian kiddie show called "The Doughnut Man" when I was little. lol!
 
I made a living at music well into my 30s. I got off the road by the time I was 25, though I did jump from town to town. There were a lot of house band gigs back then, and great crowds. Not so much anymore.

I was afraid to become a "professional student" because my gung-ho bandmates thought that was uncool. But I finally said to hell with it and went back to school at age 33 to make myself employable because I knew the good days weren't going to last. I wasted a lot of time with this course and that, but managed to keep playing. I'm a lawyer now but I work for a company. Not big $$$ for me. The bandmates who stayed all-in are living hand to mouth, and praying to get on SSI.

There were other jobs I could have done that I wouldn't because it would conflict with my gigs and back then employers didn't like that 2-job thing people have to do now.

Bottom line, I didn't have a straight job until I was in my 40s. And boy what a learning experience that was...office politics etc.

If I had it to do over, I'd go to a 2-year trade school, like be an RN or something, and take the weekend work and get back into music once I started getting day shifts. Hard to go on the road while in school, but there are a lot more online distance learning opportunities now than there used to be.

Good luck.
 
I'm 72 years old and I've been out of work a number of times during my 50-year business career. With a wife and 3 kids yet. Some things I learned:

Don't panic. Panic will paralyze you. I ride horses and the saying is "fear will get you hurt".
Same is true with anything in life. It's ok to be afraid but don't let it overwhelm you.

Keep active. Don't get discouraged. Look for work anywhere you can and keep looking. Taking action will help you keep your spirits and self-confidence up.

Keep faith. Believe in yourself. Fall back on whatever beliefs you have whether religious or not.

Talk to the people who care about you - your family and friends. Don't isolate yourself. Share your difficulties with them. Just don't become a chronic complainer.

Most of all take time to enjoy the things you care about. Family, friends, home. Sounds trite but stop and smell the roses from time to time.

Above all, you are not alone. Keep drummin' and good luck. Old Doc Yak
 
Thanks Doc, that post really resonates with me. Becoming a father is a huge adjustment, especially when you have to take care of him by yourself 7 hours a day (up at 6:30am!) I realize I've isolated myself from other musicians unless I'm on a gig, and not practiced much. I'm fortunate that my wife is a school teacher, so I have this summer to make as many connections as possible, practice, and hopefully, get my son in daycare this fall so I can continue to focus on my career. Here I go!
 
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