Masheanhed
Senior Member
Have any of you had a situation where you were not able to make a gig or gigs with your band due to an illness or death in the family? How did your bandmates handle it? I'm not talking about a high end professional level...my band is more on a "Saturday night bar type gig" level.
Recently my mother took ill and was hospitalized and not knowing how the outcome would be I asked my bandmates to get someone to fill in for me as we had two good gigs coming up in a week. There was no way I could play them as she was in ICU, the hospice floor and later on home hospice and I was staying the night with her and my dad for almost three weeks to help with my mom's (and my dad's) care. I did not want them to have to cancel as I know we had all looked forward to these gigs. Her funeral ended up being on the day of one of the gigs. The show must go on and I realized that.
My problem is that a few of these people that I have played with for two years never sent me a text, email, or phone call to say 'hey thinking of you", and one of these guys is a friggin' doctor. This burned me slightly but I know some people handle things differently so I sucked it up. I got texts and emails from these two people asking about dates I was open to play future gigs and about how to do a group invite on facebook, but not once even a comment on 'how's your mom?". Then I wake up the morning after the second gig to find a dozen videos posted on our facebook site of the band playing, doing two songs that I have never liked doing. I know it was not intentional but somehow it just felt like insult to injury. I didn't expect the world to stop for me, and I truly did not want the gigs cancelled, but I would have just appreciated a little more thought put into not making me feel like a number.
So...anyone ever have a similar experience?
Recently my mother took ill and was hospitalized and not knowing how the outcome would be I asked my bandmates to get someone to fill in for me as we had two good gigs coming up in a week. There was no way I could play them as she was in ICU, the hospice floor and later on home hospice and I was staying the night with her and my dad for almost three weeks to help with my mom's (and my dad's) care. I did not want them to have to cancel as I know we had all looked forward to these gigs. Her funeral ended up being on the day of one of the gigs. The show must go on and I realized that.
My problem is that a few of these people that I have played with for two years never sent me a text, email, or phone call to say 'hey thinking of you", and one of these guys is a friggin' doctor. This burned me slightly but I know some people handle things differently so I sucked it up. I got texts and emails from these two people asking about dates I was open to play future gigs and about how to do a group invite on facebook, but not once even a comment on 'how's your mom?". Then I wake up the morning after the second gig to find a dozen videos posted on our facebook site of the band playing, doing two songs that I have never liked doing. I know it was not intentional but somehow it just felt like insult to injury. I didn't expect the world to stop for me, and I truly did not want the gigs cancelled, but I would have just appreciated a little more thought put into not making me feel like a number.
So...anyone ever have a similar experience?