At the end of the day, it's your call, it's your feelings and if you didn't feel right for the job,
whatever the reasons, we have to respect your decision...
... but as a matter of a discussion topic, I'll add a few comments on this complicated and ambiguous situation
Did you apply for the audition or did they call you?
Do you know if they auditioned other drummers?
It does make a difference...
While Karen admit herself "
I didn't necessarily see us as a fit when I saw your links", if they called YOU, it means that they had/see something in their minds that you could fit the drummer's spot, which suggest that maybe they wanted the band to take a new road, often bands/artists have hired an out of character player to bring something new, fresh and different to their music.
If you called them to have an audition, then, yes, all your concerns and reservations makes perfect sense, only you can decide if you can fit or not fit, even if they liked your playing, you made the move towards them, they didn't, even if you put an idea/path in their heads, it remains your call.
This to me indicate that they seen that your drumming would fit their perspective/structure for the future.
Referring to my audition with CP, they call me... which implied that they wanted something different than the "normal" recipe for such a band, once I was part of the band, they made me listen to some recordings featuring their previous (1st) drummer, oh my... it was like day and night, water and wine, this guy was a "proper" jazz drummer, but I guess I fitted for the new path they wanted to take, and to be honest, I didn't have to make such an effort to change my style of drumming, most of the changes I had to make were more orientated within dynamics in my playing.
When I auditioned for CP I had a double bass drums set up consisting of 2 24", 13", 14" in power size, 18", 14"x8" and a side 14"x5"... a long way from the previous drummer's 4 piece set up in standard jazz size, lol
Same with my cymbals set up, 18" and 19" rock crashes, 22" Earth ride, not what you call subtle
Indeed Jon, it has actually open doors for me in my professional life.
Now if someone call
you Jon for an audition and they offer
you the drummer seat, in my book your integrity is intact, they chose and wanted you, your integrity could have been what got you the gig
Perhaps... difficult to say without hearing and seeing the audition.
Yes, your perception... not necessarily theirs...
In one of CP's song, the original arrangement was played with brushes, very jazz like... and it ended up with a strong groove with a fat backbeat when I played it, you would barely be able to say it was the same song.
Also when I joined CP, everything was much easier when we wrote new material together, in the end we only played 2 or 3 tracks live which were written before my time in the band, I believe that the chemistry of the players in a band affect the end result, it's not better or worse, it's just a chapter in a band's life, you change that chemistry, you change the end result.
I still believe that you would have fitted Karen's band and be part of that chapter of this band, bringing something different in the meantime.
Sorry for the long post, but the point is: Being an out of character as a player doesn't necessarily mean a player could not fit a band, or indeed, need to change his natural style.