Just can't seem to relax...

MaryO

Platinum Member
Not a bad lesson tonight, a definite improvement from last week. But here's what my teacher told me..."I can close my eyes and it sounds great but I open them and look at you and can just see how incredibly tense you are". He's constantly telling me to breathe and to just relax.

I know this is a problem and I can feel it happening but I just don't know what to do about it. I know I've said this before on here but any really good tips on relaxing while playing? I keep trying to improve my posture and to let the playing just happen but it's not working. Very frustrating...I know it's holding me back.

So where do I go from here?
 
Hmm... do you practice slowly and quietly when you first learning something, or do you just jump into to the "goal tempo" at full volume? I see my students do this all the time. I demonstrate something or play them a recorded example, then they immediately try to imitate. Sometimes, if they don't fail straight away, they just barely manage to coax the music out by tensing up and just going for it. Unfortunately, this usually means that they are playing very ungracefully and with a strain that falls very short of mastery.

Two sources I'd recommend for further study of correct practice are the DVD Steve Smith Drumset Technique, History of U.S. Beat (available on netflix, btw). And the wonderful book, Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner.

Steve has a great little section in the middle of his DVD, where he talks about practicing. Basically he says, when learning something new, just go slowly AND quietly. This allows your body and mind to really absorb the information of a musical idea. As you develop muscle memory and accuracy, that will support a faster tempo or louder dynamic. And your more likely to remain relaxed when it counts. However, if you don't go slow and quiet at first, and build in the relaxation, you'll be hard pressed to do it in a more stressful situation, like playing in front of your teacher, or on a gig.

It's a long road to get to the point where your playing is effortless. Start with the things you really know well, let your body relax, and psychologically let go, meaning try to not care about making a mistake. Then play and OBSERVE what happens. A mistake is just a glich, something improperly learned, and you can learn from those mistakes and adjust, ultimately becoming a better player, but first you have to honestly make them, if that makes sense. Try to never sacrifice your mental and physical relaxation. Especially during the learning process. Best of luck. Your teacher sounds like he has you on the right path!
 
Hey - one really good thing to try is smiling whilst playing.. if you're tensing up you'll find it hard to keep a relaxed smile on your face. Plus it just makes you feel happy and good about playing. If you can't smile comfortably while you play something, then keep practicing it slowly until you can! Hopefully that helps :)

Caroline
 
I only play music I enjoy, then I have a smile on my face - and when I play metal, the smile's even bigger!!


I think that's part of the problem. It's not really "music" I'm playing. It's working on rudiments and pages out of hte Syncopation book. So, it's not a lot of fun, per se, but practice. I find that I do relax more when I'm just playing along with music for fun. I just haven't gotten to that point with my instructor yet so perhaps the key.

As for the weed, I'm no prude but I'm one of those weird people that it has never really done anything for. I've tried, believe me, I've tried...but just not much effect. Just my luck...lol.

Thanks for the advice, everyone!
 
I think that's part of the problem. It's not really "music" I'm playing. It's working on rudiments and pages out of hte Syncopation book. So, it's not a lot of fun, per se, but practice. I find that I do relax more when I'm just playing along with music for fun. I just haven't gotten to that point with my instructor yet so perhaps the key.

As for the weed, I'm no prude but I'm one of those weird people that it has never really done anything for. I've tried, believe me, I've tried...but just not much effect. Just my luck...lol.

Thanks for the advice, everyone!

I remember trying some at uni - it didn't do much for me either, except act as an aphrodisiac..

Anyway - I feel your pain here too. I've been playing for years and am practically having to reinvent my playing because I never did learn to relax properly. One key place I notice it is my right leg (kick drum), but I get it elsewhere too. I can be mid song and realize I'm not properly relaxed and have to tell myself to do it. For me, it's like letting go and it feels more like I'm just sitting there, shoulders and legs relaxed, rather than "going at" something. If that makes any sense - I can't think how else to describe it.

The difference in feeling it creates though for the breif moments I've acheived it is worth the effort (effort to relax... sounds backwards doesn't it).
 
I'm going through the exact same thing at the moment! For some reason, when I play, I'm just tense by default. Even as I sit here typing, my shoulders are raised up and my neck is tight. I can easily force myself to relax and it feels SO much better, but it only lasts for a brief moment before my mind wanders off and I tense up again.

Sometimes I even awkwardly bob around while playing, almost dancing to what I'm playing, this is another bad habit that I'm trying to get out of.

I'm going to look for some relaxation exercises and try those out. I feel like I need to conquer this before I can really progress with other aspects of my drumming.
 
Mary, maybe if you try practicing in front of a mirror, you could see yourself being tense and adjust.
 
Mary,

Hate to sound cliche' but you need to learn how to relax. Play slow at say two to three minute intervals. Balance some "go crazy" time in your practice routine to fight the boredom. You'll get through, just takes time. Sure is worth it in the long run.
 
yeah, i have to agree that relaxing is really important and that playing with tension is universally bad. what i do if i find myself getting tense is i try to relax whatever specific muscles i can feel tensing up. like others have said, if you feel tension creeping in, then slow down right away. playing quieter helps too.
 
How do drummers like Dave Grohl relax when they're playing so hard? Not that I'm a fan of how they play but it seems like a lot of rock drummers nowadays play very hard and I don't get how they can stay relaxed, maybe they don't?
 
How do drummers like Dave Grohl relax when they're playing so hard? Not that I'm a fan of how they play but it seems like a lot of rock drummers nowadays play very hard and I don't get how they can stay relaxed, maybe they don't?

I think you can be relaxed and still play really hard. Relaxation is not necessarily a low-volume, low-energy output kinda thing. Obviously, you're not going to be 100% at rest when playing at FFF volume in a rock song. It's more about focusing your energy in such a way that your playing happens automatically, and from a non-doership, kind of zen place. It's the difference between being in an open, loose, and flowing state, as opposed to a closed, tense, and confined one.

Think of the relaxation it takes to break a board, like in a martial arts setting. All the energy must be channeled into the act of punching through the board. Other muscles not involved in the punch, should be at rest. If there is any hesitation or lack of commitment in the act, it's not going to be the board breaking but the hand! Ouch...

With a loud musical note, I think of the same thing. Confidence and total commitment. The kind of confidence that comes from having played the drums for years and having developed an awareness of how to hit the drums and how the drums will respond, to the point where it's second nature.

And you might wanna dance when you play and that's ok, so dance. Or if you wanna scream, scream. You don't want to audit yourself while playing. On the other hand, you want to audit the hell out of yourself when practicing so that you learn proper technique, muscle memory, to facilitate playing correctly and injury free. But in the moment of performance you just commit and go for it. The more correct practice you've done, the more free and relaxed you'll be to play, whether it's loud or soft, intense or laid back.

It's a tough subject to articulate. But still a very interesting one. I think it comes from the ambiguous nature of words like, relaxation, mastery, effortlessness, meditative, and others. They can have many meanings that are not so absolute and often seem in contradiction. Anyone else have any thoughts on the matter? Please share.
 
Mary,

First off remember a lesson is actually a stressful situation. You're paying someone to analyze and tell you what you're doing wrong. If you went to the lesson and the teacher told you that you did everything perfect what sense would it be to pay for it? You'd already know it all. This comes straight from my sons teacher who is a professor of percussion. He's absolutely right. Secondly, after time you'll get used to your teacher and relax. It took my son a long time to relax with his teacher. He has a second teacher that he's been with since September. He still gets nervous around this new teacher. He's not totally used to his style yet. My son's hands shake slightly constantly, even during dinner some nights. The new teacher constantly talks about it. He's going to try eating a banana before his lesson. The pottasium in banana's is supposed to help with that. He plays with a girl who plays flute. She has terrible stage fright even though she's a top flight student going to a conservatory. She eats a banana before she steps on stage every single time. She says it helps. I don't know if it's true but my son is going to try it.

Good luck.
 
It's more about focusing your energy in such a way that your playing happens automatically, and from a non-doership, kind of zen place.

"Non-doership" ... I really like that. The question is, how do you get to that state when playing without slipping off the meditate (which is something I can't do)?


Some good thoughts on playing relaxed on this thread: http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=72806
 
I can't relax when I haven't taken the time to make the motions required for a groove natural. I noticed a big difference in my playing when I started working on grooves for longer periods of time. Practice the groove until you don't have to think about it at all, it just flows effortlessly. It's going to take some time. Steve Smith's advice is great - start slowly and quietly, then move into other dynamic ranges and tempos.

Also, watch drummers who are relaxed and fluid. All professionals are very relaxed, but Russ Miller really comes to mind here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgxEV9sHuJg

Also - any drugs or alcohol are going to affect your playing negatively.

-sheldon
 
I think the best advice I had ever received was to practice everything in a relaxed fashion. If you practice tense, you are practicing to be tense. Play only relaxed, and your technique will be relaxed and more musical.

And what do you mean rudiments and Stick Control aren't music? Don't you love practicing?! I do. Here's my speel: they will be music once you decide they are, and try to make them sound as such. Nicely executed rudiments are a thing of beauty, and something to strive for and be proud of. Every rudiment is more than music, it is a world unto itself.

Good luck, and enjoy yourself! Let us know what you come up with to get by this hurdle.
 
nice topic MaryO, I'm in the same boat as you. Only been playing 5 months but I've had to re-learn a few things. What my teacher has always said is "practice is permanent". I have a very bad habit of playing slow, then uping the tempo x10 instead of x1 or x2.

Now that I've corrected my habit I play cleaner, and more relaxed...speed will come eventually. I think we become very impatient and want to play along with a song or jam right away, but we need to give our body time to adjust and develop the muscle memory.

Have fun!
 
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