What do you say when....

Pocket-full-of-gold said:
Hand 'em a pair of sticks and say: I'm not following you, show me.
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man that is great.this shuts up the wannabes.

this doesnt happen to me a lot & i agree most just just nonsense. BUT when it does become pointed / insulting by a non-musician, non-player who has no idea what they are talking about, i have a stock answer: This (pointing at myself / drumset) is not a democracy, it's a dictatorship.

I really believe this too: YOU built this house. Sure, you had mentors and teachers that you seek out...but ultimately its about your personal vision, your unique sound. The sure way to kill your drumming style is to poll around and ask the world " what do you think?". Nope...my way or the highway.
 
These people may not know about playing music. But they do know about listening to music and what they want to hear in the church service. The band is there to provide music for the congregation. I'm going to assume that church leadership tells you the general style they want, trusts your creative judgment, and speaks up if you go too far with that. But the leaders may not know how everybody in the congregation feels about the music. People complaining to you may not have complained to church leadership. That means you should let the music director, pastor, church council, or other leaders know that people have spoken to you. They can decide the best way for the congregation to meet their desires. As a drummer, you shouldn't have to worry about that kind of thing. So, I think the response is to say, "Thanks for mentioning it. I'll discuss it with leadership."

That said, some people are real over-the-top controlling jerks. If that's the case, I'd refer them to Psalm 150:5

Praise Him with the clash of cymbals,
praise Him with resounding cymbals.

Or 2 Samuel 6:5

David and all Israel were celebrating with all their might before the Lord, with castanets, harps, lyres, timbrels, sistrums and cymbals.

Or 2 Chronicles 5:12-13

All the Levites who were musicians—Asaph, Heman, Jeduthun and their sons and relatives—stood on the east side of the altar, dressed in fine linen and playing cymbals, harps and lyres. They were accompanied by 120 priests sounding trumpets. 13 The trumpeters and musicians joined in unison to give praise and thanks to the Lord. Accompanied by trumpets, cymbals and other instruments, the singers raised their voices in praise to the Lord and sang

There's more, but you get the idea.
 
I admit..I am one of those folks who always think...drumming should be like this and that...but I never dare to tell that to anyone....thats the reason I am a basement drummer enjoying my own drumming...:) with no audience.
 
Pocket-full-of-gold said:
Hand 'em a pair of sticks and say: I'm not following you, show me.
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First ,I'd say,wow I never thought of that before,how long did you say you're playing for?

Are you in a band now?Wow,maybe you can sub for me next week,I might not be able to make it.Lets go talk to the music director and the pastor right now!

Then hand em' the sticks and deliver the PFOG line.

You could also just totally derail his train of thought and say"how about those Yankees?"Or,"thats a nice shirt,do they make those for men too?"..naa kidding ,don't say that:):)

It's usually not enough to just shut up a know it all,just wants to hear himself talk,ignorant windbag.You have to kind of quietly put your boot on his neck,and make HIM feel uncomfortable,,frustrated and backed into a corner.

There are just some people out there, that really do think they know it all.Once they find out that trying that crap on you,will result in their own embarassment,the'll never bother you again.Once they figure out ,you actually do know what you're talking about,and you have their number,the'll back off.

As they say in Texas,"that man's all hat and no cattle."

This is where a good offence,is the best defence.

Just try it,next time on the know it all jerk.

Steve B
 
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Thank you! One of the things that makes DW the best! Excellent advice and hilarious answers I need to remember. PFoG's answer was priceless. Gotta remember that one and well as the others. Thanks again!
 
Thats the point you realize they are at a childs mentality...and treat them accordingly.

Give them a kind smile and walk away.

No value in making a scene with a child...you are the adult there.
 
A simple "thanks for the feedback" and a smile will do wonders. No sense triggering an altercation (especially around a booze fueled audience). You still have to get yourself and your gear through the parking lot after the gig.
 
I basically agree with everything that they say, and go and play my set like I normally would. Then they'd come up and say it sounded better the way you did it. And just leave it at that....
 
Pocket-full-of-gold said:
Now there's a church I'd happily be a part of!!
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Well not the whole congregation,but when I was an altar boy(many years ago,but don't worry,I got better),I used to come in Sunday mornings to assist in the 7 AM mass,and more than a few times,the same Priest(I won't use his name here) was either hung over,or still drunk.He did manage to say mass in 30 minutes flat,which was remarkable,since at the time,it was in Latin.

He even parked his Volkswagen on the sidewalk a few times.

Steve B
 
I'd try not to be off putting. It's a great skill to be able to listen and smile without them pushing your buttons. But I don't run into that, so I have no real experience with these types.
 
Roy Burns (Aquarian) once wrote something like: "Thanks for the feedback, I know I suck, but how can I stop all these guys from calling me for gigs?"
 
I don't think it's good business to treat people that way. Like Vinnie making faces at the camera. Man there's cameras everywhere anymore. Accept it, there's no stopping it. Even what Roy said can be taken as a passive aggressive dig. It goes with the territory if you are on a stage. You gotta forgive those types. There might even be a grain of truth from their perspective. IDK, being the asshole musician doesn't do anybody any good.
 
Great point Henri. It's hard seeing things from others perspectives sometimes, especially when you think they are an asshole.
 
Yeah I thought about this long and hard and I'm quitting the priase band. My attitude isn't where it should be. And I'm sick and tired of the way the band is treated. For example:

1. My wife and I have to wake up around 6 am to get ready to leave by 7 am to get to the church to get ready to rehearse at 7:30 am. That is if everyone is there and diligent in setting up their guitars. If we are lucky, everyone is ready by 7:45 for a very basic sound check. Depending on how that goes, we are ready at 7:50 - 8:00 to rehearse 5 songs. BuT we have to quit at approx. 8:15 am for the early traditional service to come in. So maybe we have 15 - 20 minutes to rehearse 5 songs. No rehearsals during the week because not everyone can make it.

2. If I'm playing kit I get to play probably on all songs. If I'm playing percussion and congas, MAYBE 4 songes out of 5. That's 1 or 2 on congas, 1 or 2 on shakers/maracas....

3. Our audio guys are continually turning everything down to match everything else so bad that you can't here lead guitar solos or bass solos in the congregation. Our lead guitar player got mad and started bringing his own amp instead of running it thru the house PA. That way HE can control it. But again, audio guys wanted to mic it to control it and last time I was in worship service 2 weeks ago, he had solos throughout a song, but you couldn't hear them because the audio techs had him turned way down. Frustrating.

4. Our "music room" where we store music and equipment, even practice solo when needed is now being used by a Sunday School class too lazy to take the elevator to the 2nd floor we just added 3 years ago and walk 20 feet to a room. Instead they take up our space on the 1st floor and stay there. I accidently walked in to put up some of my percussion gear to store it and got some very funny looks.

It's just this kind of stuff I'm sick and tired of. There's more. And I'm tired of continually fighting these battles with audio and administration thinking taking away the music room is a good idea and thinking everyone should be at the same level all the time whilst on stage. Several months ago I was told I was playing congas too loud because they were bleeding over into the elevated choir mics 20 feet away.... It's like "do you want Congas or not?"

I'm taking an extended break from this and am trying to find a decent covers band to play in for a while. Guess I'm burned out.
 
larryace said:
Great point Henri. It's hard seeing things from others perspectives sometimes, especially when you think they are an asshole.
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The truth is Larry, we'll always be some a**hole for someone, somewhere...we can't help it, we might as well live with it :)
 
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